Stuck Caring for Mean, 73 year old Mother
I am a 50 year old (divorced, no kids) female and an only child. My dad died decades ago and I'm the only family member willing to care for my mom. My mother and I have had a rocky relationship, have been estranged for years at a time.
My mom has many health problems, both physical and mental and no friends, whatsoever. She hates everyone and her negativity drags me down. When she gets especially angry, I leave the room.
She's a retired business owner and very bored, has no hobbies. She weirdly copies me - my style of dress, the music and tv shows I watch. It's bizarre, like she's trying to assume my identity.
I think she's jealous of me because I've had an adventurous life, have traveled and lived abroad, for example, when she hasn't. She's agoraphobic, afraid to even go to the store. I do most everything around here even though she's mobile. I do most of the cooking, cleaning, errands, household maintenance, along with working from home.
I'm always exhausted.
I called her doctor (before the pandemic) and asked them to test her for dementia. That's when they told me she's been avoiding them for several years! I said, "wait, what?" My mom had been telling me all along that she's been going to her doctor appointments (he's based in a shopping center literally across the street) just lying to my face all this time.
So they called her and told her they made an appointment for her to come in but she, of course, blew them off.
So I feel like I have no help whatsoever and I'm trapped in a little house with a monster. Is this how I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life?