Stressed Out And Siblings Don't Care
(Bel Air, MD)
I'm 44 years old and moved back into my parents home 12 years ago after a failed relationship and unable to afford my own apartment. The plan was that I would live in a downstairs apartment and save money which never seemed to happen after I lost my job a few years back and the business I started took a loss due to the economy.
Even when I did find an apartment I could afford in recent years I chose to stay at my parents home because they both continually had medical problems which required some degree of caregiving. My Mother eventually passed away 2 years ago after getting Lewy Body Dementia. Her wish was to die at home so my Dad and I cared for her on our own only receiving hospice care the last month she was alive.
Since my Mom has died my Father expects to be with me all the time. When I've tried to suggest he find other people to spend time with or try other activities he does that for awhile and then starts to want to spend every waking second with me. He's 82 and has low vision so he doesn't drive. Because I have my own business he goes to work with me everyday, eats meals with me, shops, runs errands. There seems to be no time for me! Occasionally I go out with friends but the times are few and far between.
I have 2 sisters that are both older than me. My oldest sister calls him on the phone but never gets together with him. My other sister lives nearby and spends time with him when she "isn't busy" which is every few months if that. When I try to vent to her she says "at least you have a roof over your head"
She doesn't get that my Dad could not live here by himself and that I do contribute financially to the household.
I feel stressed out all the time now. I am a person that always enjoyed my alone time to read or sketch or take a long walk or ride my horses. I never get to do any of these things anymore. I'm getting ready to snap!