Still No Help from Siblings for my Mom!
by Crazy Caregiver
My Mom was placed in a very pricey Alzheimer's care facility last fall. She had acquired several skin infections, several falls, one so serious she was hospitalized for some time.
While I understand the disease is taking it's natural course, I can't help but wonder if my other siblings visited more often and just spent a few hours with her on a given weekend how much her quality of life and outlook might improve.
My sister continues to be the only one who is there for my Mom and visits her frequently sometimes almost every day to make certain she eats, has a shower and feels safe and loved. I travel down every other weekend and spend most of the day with her doing the same things my sister does for her.
The folks at the care facility are surprised to see this level of concern I guess for a loved one since they said most folks just dump off their loved one and only visit at Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving.
My Mom was the best Mom and a very loving Gramma when she was well. I can't imagine not seeing her but the visits are getting harder and harder for both my sister and me. She doesn't really know who we are by name anymore but when she sees our face something sparks and she's so happy to see us.
What I'm upset about still is the lack of involvement and concern from my three older siblings. My sister and me are the youngest and seem to be the only ones there for my Mom. We also cared for her while she lived in her home coping with the earlier and middle stages of this dreadful disease. I do not understand how someone can sit idly by and not lift a finger to help out there poor Mom!
My oldest sibling said his "crew" at home needed him more and he was not going to waste his weekends caring for my Mom when she was still living in her own home. My other sibling can't help they so far away and does attempt to spend some time when visiting us.
The other sibling never had a close bond with Mom and frankly I think wishes she would just go already. It breaks my heart to see the lack of concern and love and respect towards my Mom who was the most loving and giving and gentle soul you could ever hope to meet.
How do I get past these feelings of anger and resentment towards the "Non-Participant Siblings" and just let it go? My Mom deserves an easier exit from this world and she deserves better treatment from her grown and very capable children. Your thoughts?