Some Blunders and Absurdities.......

by Pretty Blue Eyes
(Philadelphia)

I have been taking care of my elderly mother for the last 10 years. She has been in the hospital at least 5 or 6 times in those years, the last two for pneumonia and a heart attack (in the middle of a blizzard, no less).


She has good days and bad days. I work full time and have a slightly crazy boss, who I believe has adult ADD. Fun!

My 52 year old sister moved back home with us, supposedly on a temp basis, but got fired from her job and basically sleeps all day and watches TV and smokes all night. Will take our mother to doctor appointments I can't make, but other than that....nothing. Does not help out(grocery shopping, chores, etc.) at all. Is addicted to Oxycontin and becomes paranoid when she is in withdrawal. She can function , and if you meet her you would never guess about her addiction.

My mother is hard of hearing and her eye sight is not so great, but she does have her mind. Loves to play the lottery. Loves to watch baseball and for the most part we get along very well.

My worst days are when my mother is miserable and angry about whatever, usually because she is hurting from arthritis or missing my Dad, and my sister is accusing me of stealing from her. She is very passive/aggressive in her attacks. On days like this, I just want to run away.

My brothers and other sister try to pitch in to help my mother, but they just don't want to deal with my sister. I am just tired, fed-up, done with the whole situation. It can be very depressing.

I deal the only way I know how...just keep going, plowing through each day, keep in touch with friends and occasionally go out and do things for myself, when I can. And I pray a lot....for patience and understanding and strength.

My biggest fear is coming home from work and finding my mother dead on the couch....not being there when she needs me the most and passing away with no one holding her hand. I try not to dwell on this.

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Hangin' Tough in Philly
by: Anonymous

By your name, Pretty Blue Eyes, I see you haven't yet lost your identity, and by the tone of your words, still have your sense of humor.

You're doing great for the situation you're in.

I do just what you are doing. I plow through each day and do a lot of praying. I keep in touch with friends and try to do things for myself now and then.

It's too bad your sister is there to add to the burden. You are trying to stay strong and she has given up. It's hard to live with that kind of attitude with all you have to do to keep it together.

I don't really have any advice. Just know that there's one thing we can count on and that's change. There's a line from a song that says, "Life don't clickity-clack down a straight line track it come together and it come apart."

Know that we hear you, and you have support however far away it may seem.

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