Sole caregiver

by Santhia
(Lousiana)

I have been the sole caregiver for my elderly mother for the past 6 years. I have one sibling who only sees or visits our mom on birthdays and special holidays. He has one job, grown children, and lives on his own. Besides being a caregiver, I have one other job that allows me to work from home.


After cursing at me and humiliating me in front of our mother, and clients, I have decided to completely cut him out of my life. This sibling has often cursed at me and always puts others (and me) down when the chance is given.

For the past 10 months, I have not mentioned his name to my mom. When he visits, I can hear him telling my mom things about me. I no longer care what is said. I live in peace with myself now.

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look at it differently
by: Greenacres

Please allow yourself in his shoes. What do you want from him? Have you told him? I am sorry, but this has happened to me with one of my sisters. She took control of all mom's money, and has cut me out of her life and I DON'T KNOW WHY! We have always had a special bond.

She is 5 years younger than me, and we used to talk about all of us living together when we get too old to care for ourselves. We would hire help and live our lives out together.

She hasn't spoken to me in 4 years and I am STILL trying to figure things out. It hurts awful bad. SHE DROPPED ME AND WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME.

I think it has to do with $$$$$$. I am retired and I certainly don't need or want mom's leftovers when she dies.

There is a will that only states the inheritance to be split 3 ways, I have two other sisters. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE $$$$. She is jealous of me being mom's favorite. She has said so herself.

I am a VERY compassionate person and do not deserve to be treated this way. Dad ALWAYS called me when mom was in crisis. I have even had to get a gun away from her so she wouldn't shoot herself when she was a menopausal maniac.

I took her to the hospital because I didn't know what else to do. My sisters were always off getting into trouble while I had to deal with mom. This was when I was 17. Being the middle child sucks sometimes.

I NEVER got any money from my parents the way my sisters have... I could always take care of myself, been in the work force since I was 12. Little sister has been stealing money from mom and dad, and things would go missing and I was always blamed.

I never stole but was always blamed .. my sisters were two of a kind.,although the youngest is the definition of narcissism. She has been bad mouthing me and my husband. I think she doesn't talk to me because I have called her out.

I am saying all this because I would not like for you to just cut out a family member. You can't get lost time back. Listen to your brother and figure it out together. Both of you will be much better for it!

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YAY!
by: Anonymous

That's the way you do it. and IMO if at all possible leave the house when he shows up, unless you need to be there to insure he's not doing something he shouldn't be.

And maybe you should just curse him out too while he's at the house. Might make you feel better....

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