Sole Caregiver

by Donna

I am the sole caregiver for my 82 Year old Mother. I have sisters and a brother, all of whom, cannot be bothered to help.

A couple of nights ago, I had to call paramedics AGAIN....I found a toilet full of blood. She refused to go to the hospital and when I attempted contact with her PCP, I was told they aren't allowed to speak with me because I'm not on the "list." I asked my Mother about it and she denied it.

I'm just at my wit's end.

NONE of them are here to help. And this, after she told me how hurt and offended she felt when my one sister was made in charge of my Father's health care. He passed away July 16, 2014.

I just don't know what I can do. She is becoming more obstinate by the day and refuses to cooperate with her own health issues. She has most of her toes amputated, so she has to use a walker, which she tries to NOT do!

She has had a hip replacement and has the use of one hand!!! I am going to be 60 next month and have arthritis and Macular Degeneration. I can't even get to a Doctor, because none can be bothered to come and sit with her.

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My heart goes out to you
by: Anonymous

I experience similar episodes! My daughter told me that I allow people to treat me the way they do because I only hope and wish at the point of exhaustion that someone will be there for me.

With my family they create such a scene when I discuss my Mom that I almost think as hard as it is that it is still easier to be on my own.

I have entered my mom into a level 4 care center as my health was breaking down. I can add to everything else her anger, resentment and depression that she is there. I go to her everyday and endure her feelings, complaints and on and on.

She is not abandoned by me as I am still there for her. Happiness and accepting ones situation comes from within and we cannot achieve that for someone else. All we can do is keep trying.

We need to remember to care for them as we would want care. I am slowly starting to see some improvements in my health. She is well cared for and well treated. All her needs are met by myself and professional staff.

The loss over control of her health, her age and so on is a process that is beyond anyone's control.

Perhaps her pensions may cover outside help for her if your family is refusing to be there to help. There are also volunteer services that are made available through senior centers and other senior programs. Use them as it makes a big difference.

by: michael

I almost thought I wrote this except condition here is not as bad. My heart is with u. I lost my whole business to help here and all my brothers sisters are too busy and ignorant. Yet, she is health proxy and finance on bank account to control when If ever or I leave the situation so they can throw her somewhere. Don't forget yourself. Somehow and sometimes you have to say luv ya but can't best wishes. but I know first hand there's like no way out almost to much luv can ruin you.
god bless

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