I've been blessed to come to a positive place in my caregiving journey, so I'm sharing it, as it's taken me a long time to get here, and I know many of you are all struggling.
My friend recently lost her 35 year old daughter so she has been helping her granddaughter raise her 18 month old baby. She also has her aging mom at the other end of the spectrum.
I'm living with my 95 year old mom, so we swap a lot of stories regarding where our lives are at in this moment of time.
The other day Mary texted me and the conversation went like this:
Mary: The baby was sick in the middle of the night and I was able to get to the store at 4am and get some medication. He finally stopped crying at 5am. I'm going to work now. Mom still can't take medications without supervision.
I replied: Yeah, you got it going on, too. We are the caregivers.
Mary: Pretty soon we won't care about anything or won't have it in us.
I replied: It's kind of a special position. I think we do it cuz we are those kind of people.
Mary: We do it cuz no one else will. There is no one else.
I replied: Yeah, but we step up to the plate. We could turn our backs to it but we choose not to.
Mary: Soft hearts.
I replied: Yeah, and that's a good thing.
Mary: Yes it is.
I share this because it made me feel so good to connect with my friend on this level of acceptance and recognition.
The idea that I choose to do this helps me lose the anger and the recognition from myself and from her helps me realize the importance of this responsibility. Helping the elderly slowly wind down their lives is just as important as helping children begin their lives.
Seeing my mom with her great grandchildren, who are 3,4,6,11,14,16,18 I realize they are like ships passing in the night, going in opposite directions. When my mom leaves this earth, she will be the last of her generation in our family.
She has been the lone survivor. She is indeed the grand matriarch. And she should be taken care of as such and I am the caregiver.
And isn't that a position not to be taken lightly. Indeed, it is a position given to someone worthy to have it.