So ... You are the Caregiver, and now You are an Unemployed 'Exaustee' !

Here's one I haven't seen any words of wisdom for:

caring for my 89 year old Mom, in poor health, and I haven't worked in over 2.5 years.

I am not eligible for any assistance of any kind from anywhere; and Mom is not available (6 months wait list, and no funds currently available)for elder-care related funding to acquire a caregiver (me) for a modest stipend.

Mom receives only social security, and that is consumed by doctors, medicines, and her own needs. I am at wits end to pay my house (paid-for) taxes and utilities.

Have been living on what's left of my 401K, down to my last $323.00.

Any ideas on this one???
-Troubled

Comments for So ... You are the Caregiver, and now You are an Unemployed 'Exaustee' !

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Need Advice, Support
by: Tracy

My father is outliving two retirements and solely receiving social security. I am totally disabled and receive disability payments from Social Security Administration figured on the amount of my wages for the 57 years of my life.

Dad gets his scripts for a very reasonable rate they The VA, I on the other hand pay for a prescription plan for my 12 - 16 pills I take per day. My out of pocket cost last year were over 10,000.00 after my insurance paid.

I don't know what to expect for my fathers length of life and I really worry about the future.

When dad passes, his home will be sold and funds left after bills paid, are to be split equally between myself, my sister and my brother. After all of the years I've gladly sacrificed to take care of my dad, when he's gone, I won't even have a house to live in. This stress is killing me.

We are almost always together, in the same room together. The stress is getting to me. Part of my total disability is due to depression, anxiety, bi polar, etc. Any advice?

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Home Care Services
by: Anonymous

In this area, the fees range from $10-$14 per hour.
Most jobs here, if you are lucky enough to find one, are 7.50-12.00/hr. AND the $12 is for seasoned managerial professionals.

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Thanks- but...
by: Anonymous

Thank you all for the eager responses. Yes, Dad was a WWII vet. No manner of help from there. Checked before I wrote in here. Hospice respite is only for folks who have a doctors note that they are terminal.

She had a near-death in 2010, but over that challenge. Eats well. Gained 11 lbs and kept it on (111 now). She cannot open cabinets, get water, hold and carry anything, obtain something to eat, remove things from shelves, etc. I can leave her alone for about an hour, as she can use the bathroom on her own.

Medicare does not provide respite. Walkers are only available every few years- we found some from Goodwill that were just fine, but they are too big. State Department on Aging has her on the WAITING LIST for housekeeping services (which we do not need) and that's it.

Because of her medical issues (stomach cancer, heart disease, COPD) I prep all meals from scratch, it's also more cost effective that way. It's just a brave new world. Thanks everybody for the kind words !
When I figure things out I'll let you know.

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You're not alone...
by: Anonymous

Let me say first- I'm sorry about your situation and I understand.

A few things to consider: 1) is your mother the wife of a WWII vet? if so, she may be eligible for help from the VA 2) have you applied for food stamps;3)have you contacted your local Social Services;churches or food banks for assistance?

I do understand being unemployed- and taking care of your elderly parent, we are not alone, I promise you! Hang in there, and keep your faith in God.

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Stuck
by: Anonymous

You say that you are not entitled to any assistance and so I accept that you have approached all the government, charitable and voluntary agencies without success and are now feeling alone and abandoned.

I have no magic words or super solutions but I know that it's sometimes hard to see a way out when you are in such a dark place.

I'm wondering how dependent your mum is on you? Do you have any time to find some part-time, or even voluntary, work? This wouldn't solve your problems but would give you an opportunity to get out of your situation for a little while and perhaps lead to other opportunities.

I know that you said you are feeling exhausted but sometimes a new routine can revitalize us and time spent away from your role as a carer might open up all sorts of options which might lead to better long term prospects.

Please don't allow yourself to feel hopeless, there are always options, sometimes they are just hard to see! Take care

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So... you are the Caregiver..
by: Anonymous

Hi- if you're mother has medicare, it will pay for equipment such as walkers and a hospital bed. Hospice is another resource to call for assistance, for setting up visits from a caregiver.

I know you didn't mention anything about your father, but was he a "vet?" If so, she may be entitled to services offered by the Veterans Administration. I may not be correct in all of these situations, but it's worth a try to look into it.

You can't have all of these at once, but you can set it up so that you are provided with respite care, caregivers and the such after each has allowed the number of visits, (medicare,then hospice, then VA or vice verse).

You may also want to contact your local Social Services for additional emergency help such as food stamps, paying utilities, etc.

I would contact a Home Care service and just ask them what you can do at this point. Good Luck and keep us posted!Erin

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