So, so tired!

by Abridgett
(North Carolina)

It's been about 5 years into being the primary caregiver for my Mom. Both of my siblings (a brother & sister) live in other states. Their comments to me are, "They don't know why God has CHOSEN" me to be the one taking are of our mother, but He is all knowing."

I've told them both that I don't feel as though I was chosen, as if this is a privilege, but rather they didn't give me a choice in the matter since neither of them stepped up to help.

Their financial, physical, emotional and spiritual support has been very little to no existence. I still am working full-time, going to school full time. I have, in the last year, found a care taker through DSS Dept of Aging that helps when I'm at work.

My second job begins just as I step through the door. My life exists for other people. I can't do anything (leave the room, go to the bathroom, go to the corner store, go shopping, go out with friends or just by myself) without having to make arrangements for my aging mother suffering from Dementia or taking her with me.

Not to mention that I am trying to complete my Doctorate degree - which seems to be my only escape - usually between 10pm-2am at night when my mom finally goes to sleep!

My extended family just says that God will reward me for the sacrifice and due diligence for my mom's care.

Honestly, I don't want the reward - I want help! All I see is my family going on with their lives with no concern of what's really happening to me or my life. It's not as though my life has been put on hold.

It's more like my life is passing me by. I regret the choices I've made concerning this, I regret the freedom my brother and sister have, I am mad as hell!!!

It saddens me to the core, but I am more angry than anything and don't believe this is adding to the quality of either of our lives and I'm thinking seriously about nursing home facilities. The weight of this is so heavy in my spirit.

I feel no peace in my home and its starting to spill over in other aspects of what's left in my life.

Comments for So, so tired!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sounds like my story
by: Anonymous

Sounds like my situation. My brother and sister just are able to go on with their own lives while I'm doing it all. I'm so angry with them I can't stand it.

Chosen, My Aunt Mildred
by: Anonymous

"Their comments to me are, "They don't know why God has CHOSEN" me to be the one taking are of our mother, but He is all knowing."

Hah! That's convenient for them.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Only child

    Oct 14, 19 02:38 PM

    I am an only child caring for my father who has cancer. I have grown kids and nephews that my father considers his but actually belong to his ex wife.

    Read More

  2. Been there, done that. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!

    Oct 07, 19 03:05 PM

    I am so sorry for those of you who have a selfish,hateful elderly parent but if they treat you like this, then you should have no guilt in placing them

    Read More

  3. “I Don’t Know How You Do It”

    Oct 07, 19 02:56 PM

    This is probably the comment I hear the most. Truth is, I don’t know how I do it. I don’t want to do it. I do it because I have to do it. I do it because

    Read More