So, so tired!

by Abridgett
(North Carolina)

It's been about 5 years into being the primary caregiver for my Mom. Both of my siblings (a brother & sister) live in other states. Their comments to me are, "They don't know why God has CHOSEN" me to be the one taking are of our mother, but He is all knowing."


I've told them both that I don't feel as though I was chosen, as if this is a privilege, but rather they didn't give me a choice in the matter since neither of them stepped up to help.

Their financial, physical, emotional and spiritual support has been very little to no existence. I still am working full-time, going to school full time. I have, in the last year, found a care taker through DSS Dept of Aging that helps when I'm at work.

My second job begins just as I step through the door. My life exists for other people. I can't do anything (leave the room, go to the bathroom, go to the corner store, go shopping, go out with friends or just by myself) without having to make arrangements for my aging mother suffering from Dementia or taking her with me.

Not to mention that I am trying to complete my Doctorate degree - which seems to be my only escape - usually between 10pm-2am at night when my mom finally goes to sleep!

My extended family just says that God will reward me for the sacrifice and due diligence for my mom's care.

Honestly, I don't want the reward - I want help! All I see is my family going on with their lives with no concern of what's really happening to me or my life. It's not as though my life has been put on hold.

It's more like my life is passing me by. I regret the choices I've made concerning this, I regret the freedom my brother and sister have, I am mad as hell!!!

It saddens me to the core, but I am more angry than anything and don't believe this is adding to the quality of either of our lives and I'm thinking seriously about nursing home facilities. The weight of this is so heavy in my spirit.

I feel no peace in my home and its starting to spill over in other aspects of what's left in my life.

Comments for So, so tired!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
taking the Lord's name in vain?
by: Anonymous

'"They don't know why God has CHOSEN" me to be the one taking are of our mother, but He is all knowing."

I don't know to what degree their living in other states was a choice of their own, vs 'a set of circumstances that just worked out that way', but if it was purely their *choice* to live in other states, then it could be construed that they are 'taking the Lord's name in vain', if they are ascribing 'His Will' for their own choices.

I am not a theologian, so that's not my call to make, just raising the question, as I don't wish to commit that error, myself

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Sounds like my story
by: Anonymous

Sounds like my situation. My brother and sister just are able to go on with their own lives while I'm doing it all. I'm so angry with them I can't stand it.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Chosen, My Aunt Mildred
by: Anonymous

"Their comments to me are, "They don't know why God has CHOSEN" me to be the one taking are of our mother, but He is all knowing."

Hah! That's convenient for them.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Sister Will Not Help

    Nov 21, 19 04:34 PM

    I just found this website and reading through all the comments. I can't believe how many people are out there with the same issues as mine, a sibling

    Read More

  2. Care for our Parents with no Sibling help

    Nov 21, 19 04:32 PM

    Seven years ago a doctors office prescribed my mother wrong medication while telling her her medicines would change as they would become generic. They

    Read More

  3. Mom fighting us on her care

    Nov 18, 19 12:27 PM

    My 86 year old mother lives alone and complains everyday that’s she’s alone. My brother and I both work so we can’t be there for her. Recently her copd

    Read More