So Sad and Frustrated with Dad
Dad is 88, still living on his own and driving. He retired years ago from a very important position with a very huge corporation, and is financially secure.
Mom has been gone almost 10 years. He won't let me clean, ( mom was meticulous!). He is frustrated by his "piles" of papers to share with others, his piles of junk mail(which he feels an obligation to read), his piles of clothes (which he has in the bedroom and gets upset if they are put away).
He is embarrassed to have me come over...and I feel he is choosing his piles over me. He is faced with the sad reality that he has outlived his friends, and those who are left have little independence. But he doesn't want to go places with me, because he feels he is a burden. He has given and given to others his whole life, but will not allow us to give back. He doesn't want to disrupt my life.
I am retired...and retired early so I could spend more time with him... I do live 100 miles away, so he thinks my coming to spend time is a burden.
This is so sad because he has become negative about just about everything in our world. He probably has quite a few good years left, because he enjoys pretty good physical health. I thought perhaps a doctor could discuss dealing with depression with him...he is experiencing loss of his world every day...but my brothers feel strongly against this. They say this is just what aging is! I can't deal with stress with them, too....so I am just backing off that idea.
Do aging parents ever have a reversal of this negativity? Or have I said goodbye to my dad?