So Many Same Story?
For the past year or so my mom who is 83 has been showing the early stages of dementia, forgetting simple dates names etc,,, it has slowly progressed but only on short random occasions and she would be fine the next day. Never was she declared mentally incompetent by her doctors. Around the last week in May she had 3 straight days of just total confusion, talking gibberish out loud and to people who were not in the room, confusing people on TV as being actually real people in the room with her.
Took her to the hospital for a CT (cat) scan. Results showed a tumor in her brain, treatable through radiation, further scans showed cancer wide spread throughout her body, lungs, liver, and kidneys.
Said treatments would be useless at this stage and a stress on her body, timeline was weeks to 6 months? Out of nowhere and so fast? Now if that weren’t enough to cope with My oldest brother is executor of the will and now in charge of her finances as agreed upon years ago when the time came.
He took time to review my mom’s bank records and saw withdrawals made on her debit card by Karen for my mother’s groceries and expenses with Cash back also. She couldn’t drive herself and my wife took on the duties of her grocery shopping.
My Brother, as insane as this sounds, has now filed for a investigation into withdrawals and is claiming we have embezzled tens of thousands of dollars from her over the last 4 years without her knowledge and he has threatened in his words to "Prosecute to the full extent of the law".
It looks like it will go to court. My mother is now mentally incompetent and couldn’t answer a yes or no in either way. My Mom gave us $300.00 a month (=$62 a week) for gas expenses to her appointments and for her care at home, she didn’t have too, we initially said no but she insisted saying it’s my money I can spend anyway I want to she’d say, that just the way she was, she dropped at least 200 more a month on our kids for trips to the mall with her or when they went to the movies with friends.
Brother claims we should have had a written agreement on paper and he should have known about it, says she wasn’t competent to make that choice and we took advantage of her, she was fine 4 years ago until 3 weeks ago, he is painting it otherwise.
My wife has been no less than Mother Teresa in this house when it came to my mother spending countless hours in emergency room
visits when no one else would step up to help, doing her laundry, and preparing her many medicines every day and night to ensure she got the proper dose needed, even to the point of cleaning her bed and sheets when she had frequent accidents.
Big brother showed up every six weeks so she could go to Local AFB and he could get his cigarettes discounted on her military ID. No one ever helped with moms medical or emotional needs it was all on my wife and me.
Last 2 years have been extremely tasking more so for my wife and in Gratitude this is how she is thanked? When she received the news of the claims on the phone I had no idea what was going on, she dropped to the floor sobbing in front of me and the boys literally had a mental emotional breakdown.
She is a wreck but holding it together as best we can. Most cases I’m the one who loses it and she’s the level headed one. I’m trying to keep her in a positive frame of mind.
I can honestly say for the first time in 20 years since my father’s passing I have dropped to my knees and begged God to help every night. Not so much for me but for her and the boys. Expecting papers to be served, we have a lawyer ready for when the time comes but that’s going to cost, Unbelievable.
My middle brother started off with trying to sound level headed but then said let’s review all the paper work before we make a decision? If he was true family he wouldn’t need proof he would believe me but he has shown his colors in the past and I know what’s important to him $$$, I simply do not trust him.
My older sister is behind us 100% and has offered any help and support she can give. I believe all of this stems from my mother being in a health care facility that is costing $450.00 a day until she passes, this is coming out of her savings and the brothers must have had plans with that money, now they see it dwindling before them and their true faces come out!
I’m told they will wait until my mothers passing before proceeding with papers. They demanded no one told us, sister called right away now she’s being shunned Money is thicker than blood … and this is how I get to mourn the loss of my mother each day closer to her parting is a looming attack waiting against me and my wife.
It is just another example of my brothers antagonistic nature and mind games. It is unfair and unforgivable.