So Hard

My dad was begrudgingly my mom’s caregiver (she has MS). Then he got sick and needed care too. I have 2 sisters that live within a half mile of them, have no children at home, but who stepped up to take care of them? My husband and I.

We live 9 hours away, had jobs, a home, small business and two late teenagers living at home(one of my boys has cerebral palsy and is quadriplegic) my dad yelled and cursed at me for 11 months, while my husband and I did everything for them, right down to wiping their butts.

They would talk to my sisters on the phone and just talk so sweetly to them, visit, joke, but with me, who was the only one taking care of them, it was yelling and cursing.

Now my dad has died and we are still taking care of my mom in her house. We get home only for a week every three months. My boys are in their 20’s now and my disabled son lives by himself with a care giver who comes in several times a day to help him.

We want to bring my mom home with us for a couple months so we can spend the holidays with our son who would be alone without us coming back.

My sisters(2 out of 3) are talking my mom out of going, their children are working on grandma, telling her she can’t go at Christmas and leave them( they are all adults who also don’t help out with their grandma either).

I’m so tired and sad, and I hate leaving my son alone and I can’t believe my sisters treat me like an adversary instead of helping me. They have told me they can’t help and don’t ask them.

I have one helpful sister who live 3 hours away from my mom and she comes to take care of her when we go home for a week. They help her when I am gone.

I would just walk away and let them deal with the 24/7 care of my mom, but it is also my job and I am in my 60’s and I don’t think my job opportunities are as plentiful as they used to be.

Today, while I was home for a week, my son was throwing up and because he can’t move, if I was not here I’m afraid he would have aspirated on his own vomit! I’m a wreck, can you tell?

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Your home is where the heart is.
by: Anonymous

I'm also in a similar situation, but have nowhere near the sadness you have with your son. Take your shoes and head out today, tomorrow and go HOME!

Trust me, your siblings will have no other choice but to step up to the plate when you take yours home. Your Son is and should be top priority beings you are his Daddy.

You're suffering needs to end, so please throw the guilt off your shoulders and mind...just go back and save your family!!

move back home
by: Greenacres

Time for the family to get together and make some decisions. It's not fair, all you have to give up! How do you feel about moving mom in with you?

I understand you have a lot going on. You will feel like you don't have your own space anymore. What kind of condition is mom in? How old is she?

As you know this situation could be very lengthy. Also you have to look at this financially. You can't lose your job! Boy I hope the family can be understanding. You do sound like a bit of a wreck. You have too much on your plate.

I am amazed how you are handling it. It is a VERY stress full time for you. I understand that. Good Luck, I hope your siblings will pitch in and give you more help.

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