Sleep, Repeat ..
My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago. He is 81, my mom is 76 and has been his main carer. I slowly became drawn in as their health started to deteriorate. My family took the back burner as I became their support. Mom was always strong and capable, caring for dad took it's toll and she eventually collapsed and was rushed into hospital with pneumonia. My brother and I had to move home to care for my dad as neither of us could cope alone.
To cut a very long story short dad totally lost the plot and beat up on me at a hospital appointment. He was deemed a danger to himself and others and was taken into a secure mental unit.
My mother was devastated, but we eventually got her home and I become her carer. She has been very ill but without dad to care for she has become this very old needy person.
I love her to bits and its only been months since dad was taken into hospital, but she insists on visiting him every other day. Its a 50 mile round trip and its just not necessary.
The days in between I'm caught up doing things for her and I Feel I'm being slowly eroded away. My family don't get a look in.
The time I do get I am pulled in every which direction by my family helping with the things I should have been there to do as a mother and wife.
In an attempt to get mom her life back I paid for her a weekend retreat and suggested she took one of her friends and she point blank refuses .. if I don't go with her she wont go.
I don't want to end up hating her 15 yrs down the line because she has stolen my life, but am finding it very hard to lay down the boundaries without her crying on me and making me feel so guilty ... Its a horrible horrible situation.