Single Selfish Little Sister?
My father died in 2012, leaving my 76 year old mother a widow after 55 years. She has no real friends and makes no effort to change. She suffers from chronic pain/arthritis and depression and tremors/unsteadiness. I'm the youngest of two girls. I'm divorced, and don't have children. My sister is 4 years older than me and lives in the next state.
She's married with four grown children and grandchildren. Mom loves going up to see them, but the 6 hour drive there is getting worrisome.
She told me the other day she wants to sell our houses and buy a big house to live in together. There's no way I can do this.
We don't get along well for very long. I know this from years of criticism and apologies. She says she's lonely. Sister said mom wants to be closer to the grand kids, but won't go if I don't.
Sister said I'm being selfish. I spend a lot of time with mom, take her to appointments, to lunch, movies, plays, spend time at her house and talk on the phone almost every day. She fixes food, dresses, bathes and keeps the house clean.
I'm fine to help out with more. I think she just wants a change and is depressed. My sister says my refusal to move isn't fair to mom, as I don't have a"real" family and only work part-time. Am I?