Sickened by Poisonous Words

by Daughter is Trying

Being in an unhealthy relationship with my Alzheimer's mother is like being in a boat on a stormy sea.


You go up and down and get sick from the plunges

I feel poisoned - shot with arrows of negativity. It is painful to get these feelings. Attacked, blindsided with slaps of pain.

Having a normal conversation one second, and then a bomb is dropped: words that hurt like "freeloader" or "live here rent-free". And the next thing - in a second - I feel sickened, completely washed in poison, my body filled with chemical that hurts.

Then back to normal. She doesn't even know what she did. It's been going on my entire life. But I live, knowing that at any second, another slash of sword can appear. Always on edge. Waiting, watching, wondering, if the evil, negative, nasty, hurtful, mean, poisonous knife is going to be wielded on me.

And wondering, is it me? Did I deserve it? That somehow I am bad and wrong. No matter how hard I try, or how tirelessly I work, I can never please the angry mother.

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You are a good person
by: Daughter is trying

I know exactly what you mean. I had the same thing a WWII father who yelled mean stuff at me all the time and ordered me out of the house, the will.

He died, and now my mother sometimes gets so vile. It's hard to believe that our unselfish caring is repaid with this kind of abuse, isn't it?
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time.

I hope that you will find some support. There is a lot out there if you ask.

Keep your chin up. Our reward is in knowing we are kind people, right?

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Dad is so Mean...Threatens to Kick Me Out!
by: Dondi

My Father is 88 years old and a WWII, Korea and 3 tours of Vietnam Veteran, humble funny is a great story teller and quite quickly becoming meaner by the day.

I TRY SO HARD to hold my tongue be understanding love him and he yells at me everyday. Cuts me out of the will every few months and it's all about me having some sibilance of a life.

When I go anywhere he burns my cell up..."when will you be back?"...at any given moment I have 50 things going on.

I'm...seriously overworked.

I have a disease Hepatitis C and dealing with my own pain, illness, anemia weakness, never mind my back I broke picking him off the floor 3 years ago.

I'm at my wits end, suicidal even. I wish I could find a group for caretakers. ..... I need some support over here. It's just me, my brother died 21 hours ago. Feedback please.

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I am Trying to Learn from Similar Experiences
by: Anonymous

I only hope it's not in my DNA to become the person my mother has become. She's been bitter and resentful all my life, and now it's capped by hallucinations, accusations, and bouts of helplessness that have no physical source.

I am doing everything I can to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Whether it's an unexpectedly beautiful day, a good parking space, or one of Mom's better days, I try to notice the good stuff as much as possible.

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I Know How You Feel
by: Anonymous

My mother is the same, we can be having a nice conversation and she will say something nasty.

My mother doesn't have Alzheimer's but she has Pulmonary Fibrosis. She tells me I'm fat and I'm lucky I ever got a husband because no one would marry me I'm damaged goods.

My father got killed when I was 10 and left my mother a bitter women. Now dealing with Pulmonary Fibrosis is difficult for her. She makes me feel so worthless.

What we have to remember that it isn't them talking.

It their pain talking and their minds are not sharp as the once were. In the case of your mother she's isn't even aware of what she is doing, mine is her mind it intact.

It is very painful. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.

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