To those that have siblings...at least you have another phone number to put down on the emergency call list so when/if you get to getaway for your own brief respite, there is someone else to take a call and respond in the emergency.
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Sole Care Giver by: Anonymous
Am also a sole care giver to an almost 90 year old dad. As he ages his life only revolves around himself. My husband and I have eventually decided on a two night break over Christmas.
I have arranged for a family member who is a qualified nurse and works in the hospital at a old age home to be with him together with her son. My dad is furious and has phoned everyone he knows to tell them that he will be alone and has nowhere to go for Christmas.
I am feeling so hurt and guilty and have no one to confide in. Both my siblings have passed away.
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Re: Sick Of It by: Jann
I know it's very hard to be an only child, but I don't think it's as hard as having 2 sisters, both living in the same town as me and mom, and not doing their part.
Because not only is it very hard taking care of mom alone, it's doubly hard dealing with the resentment of the other siblings not doing their share, simply because they don't want to, they don't care, and they don't care what I go through. One lives 5 minutes away, and one has never even worked a day in her life, yet it's left for me.
I'm so very angry and I feel a lot of hate, even though I'm not a hateful person, and I love my mother even though she is very difficult. I will never have anything else to do with those ex-sisters again in my lifetime once this is all over. I'll never understand how people who proclaim to be such wonderful, God-fearing Christians could do this to their own family member!
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Where is my Sister and Brother? by: Anonymous
It's been over a year of living with my mother and we have not had a break. No longer can we go out to dinner in the evening because my mother is afraid of the dark. Support from my siblings would be nice.
Oh, sure they visit my mom but it is always at my house so I feel obligated to visit to. I am angry all the time. It is not my mothers fault but I get so mad when I hear my siblings are going on trips. I can't even visit my daughter because my mom can't stay alone.
Money is a whole other issue. I no longer have my own life. Zoloft helps but I think it is time to up my medications. I feel so guilty should something happen to my mom and I feel so guilty for being angry with everyone.
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So I've Heard by: Sick-of-it
Thank you for your comment; it made me laugh. I've heard others say the same thing you said - that even though they have siblings, it's all on them. Seems to happen more with daughters than sons. Then there's the disagreements among siblings which, of course, I don't have.
It's very difficult to have both parents in poor health. My mom has Alzheimer's and my dad has his share of health issues. To top it off, he's a HUGE baby and not very pro-active. My mother was the opposite and if he were the one with Alzheimer's she would have sold the house and moved closer to me. He, on the other hand, is completely incapable to make any big decisions without her consent. She can't communicate anymore, so he's lost.
I resent that he thinks I'm supposed to fill in for her, yet if I suggest moving he just slinks away and won't discuss it. I wish he'd at least clean out a closet! Anything to ease the burden I will be faced with one day when it comes to their house. But he won't because my mom isn't there to give him permission to throw something away. He's making me crazy.
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Sorry about That... by: Anonymous
At least you had all the benefits of an only childhood and will derive the benefits of only heir. Imagine if you had other siblings who don't do anything and you are the only one who helps your parents on a daily or regular basis.
But growing up, you had to share everything with them and they will share equally in any inheritance. So, you see, it could be worse. I do all the work of the only child without the benefits. And I can't even punch out my useless siblings because they're never around.
