Siblings Punish Dad for Their Feud with Me

by Pati
(Fl)

My sisters have decided I am a bad and unforgivable person. They are angry my father selected me to help him in his ageing years. I am more than willing and able to be the one. I would like to share the emotional psychological experience with them. But they want to help in their way or no way and call me controlling.


We are all three strong, willful, smart and educated women. But my sisters resent that he has allowed me into his life after a bad period of my life. I am imperfect but have recovered from my troubles.

I have all but groveled with both sisters to agree to disagree on past hurts but to try and cooperate and be involved in Dad's life. No go. Thus they do not help or contribute or pay appropriate attention to him. They are causing him deep heartache.

I also hate to see them miss out on his final years. We were a close family. I have the care and management itself handled.

I don't want or need their "help" which usually consisted of them running at odds with whatever I had arranged. Changing appointments. Changing household tasks etc. no cooperation but really just complicated and disrupted things.

I wish they could love and interact with him without using me and their distortions as an excuse to be estranged.

He is healthy and of full mental capacity. He is functionally blind and so needs certain kinds of help. Reading, transportation.
They just hate me and use that to punish him.
Ideas?

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Punish
by: Anonymous

Thank you

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make arrangements
by: Anonymous

I think it's terrible your siblings are taking out their anger on their father....to that I say, Grow Up!

In answer to your dilemma; can you take your father to them? Or can they pick him up and have him spend the day at their house, or maybe go out for a meal?

They are being petty and childish. But your father is the one being punished. If they wanted to see him, they would find a way, regardless of how they feel about you.

Maybe it's not all because of you, maybe they have other issues that have not come to the surface. My brothers don't talk to me nor do they visit my mother, who lives with me...it's not because of me, it's because they can't stand our mother.

I wish you luck and I hope they come to terms before it is too late.

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