Siblings Just Don't Get It
by Crazy in California
For the past four years my Mom 's health has declined with Alzheimer's. She has five children, of which two live in the same city as her and one is about 1/2 hour drive away, the other sibling lives out of state and the other one is me who lives several hours away.
What bothers me is the only two of the five are truly there to support and take care of my Mom. For years now the responsibility rested with my sibling in town being there the majority of time and me driving down to spend weekends every other week. I work full time and my sibling is no longer working due to a unusual health condition that while very serious does not render them unable to help.
She is a generous caring loving person and feels the way I do about my Mom and keeping her in her in home as long as possible. I have by far spent the most amount of time always with my Mom having had a very close relationship with her. She has always been my best friend in life.
Well, unfortunately the disease progressed so much so that she could no longer be left unattended 24/7 care is now needed. Last fall she was placed into a very expensive care facility that supposedly specializes in Alzheimer's care. All of my siblings were in agreement to her being placed into the facility since my sibling could no longer handle the daily care even with the aid of another caregiver coming in and me doing the weekends
it just got to be too much.
I did not think it was time to put her in to any facility but she was and that is that. Since she has been in the facility she has had numerous falls, injuries, skin infections all of which required hospitalization or emergency room visits. I can't help but wonder if she wouldn't be better off living with me or my sibling instead in this care facility.
I understand the disease has progressed to Stage 6 and she is about to enter the final stage but I am racked with guilt over her not being with me or her 24/7. I love my Mom so much and I wished that my other siblings had been around to ease the burden on my other sibling and who knows maybe we could still have my Mom living in her own home.
I know things can't be perfect but the situation at hand is far from perfect and I wonder if we aren't' hastening her illness by having her placed in this care facility. My other siblings showed up during the latest hospital stay due to a fall and seem almost angry at where are we at?
Well, I cannot be there all the time due to logistics and lack of funds and my other sibling is always around so I am really angry at them for making it seem like its somehow all our fault that anything happens to her. Where were they when she needed help? now she doesn't even know who they are! I'm done venting now.