Siblings Attacking Me - the Caregiver
by Kristine
(Provo, UT)
My husband and I have lived with my parents for almost 12 years. My father has Dementia/Alzheimer's in addition to various other health problems. My 76-year old mother also has health problems.
My husband, who has some health-care experience quit his job so that he could stay home and take care of my parents. I have a full-time job and a 10 year old son. We have only one son mostly because we are responsible for taking care of my parents. My parents and us (husband, son and I) get along great and live very peacefully and are content with our living arrangement.
The problem lies with my 8 siblings - all of which live close by. Some visit once a week - others don't visit at all. I encourage and thank them for coming and visiting their parents. I never interfere when they do come to the house.
In fact, my husband and I make it a point to allow my siblings some time alone with our parents. We've never tried to discourage or prevent my siblings from being a part of their parents' lives. In fact, I've gone out of my way to try and include them in the caregiving.
The problem is that they all are quick to criticize, complain and accuse my husband and I of taking advantage of my parents or other wrong doing. Their accusations, rumors, worries are absolutely ridiculous and false.
My husband and I have spend thousands of dollars on counseling, trying to learn how to deal with the hurt and abuse that we suffer from my siblings.
We believe that my siblings are acting this way because they feel guilty or maybe jealous of my husband and I.
They treat our parents with respect and kindness, but my husband and I are the victims or malicious lies, accusations and verbal abuse. Especially my husband. My siblings have started some very cruel and untrue rumors about him that are untrue and uncalled for.
I would like to know if there is anyone else out there who has experienced anything similar?
What can I do?