Sibling won't Communicate

by greenacres

Hello, again. I am so frustrated with my younger sister. Mom was living with me for almost 2 years (77). I just wanted to get her stronger as it was soon after dad's passing. She had major panic attacks while living alone in her own house which is just down the street from my sister. I live an hour away.

Well, they took her to the emergency room at least three times. I said enough is enough, why don't you come stay with me where there are people around all time and she wouldn't feel so alone.

Drove me crazy while she was here, but I would do anything for mom. We felt she was ready to go back to her house. She complained everyday because my house is not as nice and new and hers is beautiful.

That didn't bother me because I live the farm life. Well, when mom left, sister took over everything. Doctor's appts. groceries shopping (which mom goes with). That's all well and good but sister won't talk to me and hasn't for 5 years.

She already got mom's POA right when dad died so she could make final arrangements, I guess. When I questioned her about what does that mean she started to explain she can sign mom's name to any legal document except for monetary gain on her part, then her husband grabbed the phone and told me to go f*** myself and then hung up.

That was the last I've heard from my sister.

Actually since mom moved in. That's when all communication ceased on her end. I have tried so many times. If I try anymore, I will look like crazy stalker person! She won't accept my calls or respond to my messages.

She threatened my family (I heard this from mom) when Christmas and my birthday came and mom was going to come spend time at my house. Sister said she would call Department of social services on me and mom if she spent any amount of time here.

I'm not afraid of them, I just don't want strangers in my home telling me how to live. My house is big and nice and mom even has her own room which I made even nicer by painting it her choice of color!

They (DHS) could also come into our lives and say mom is demented or something and take her away from us. Who knows? I am a worrier. I am cleaning all the time and I am really grateful to have a home like mine!

Hasn't anyone out there lost a sibling the way I described?? I wish for some feedback, I am pouring my heart out. I hope all you caregivers aren't being disrespected because you are an outstanding group of people who really know how to love and RESPECT your elders.

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I Give Up
by: Greenacres

I love the advice and feedback on this site. Wish I could get some on this. I try to respond to people, but sometimes I really don't know what to say.

I know a lot of families out there are in the same boat as me. Decided to do what is best for everyone (which is impossible) and gave up on my sister. That makes my Mom real sad.

That's only one of the things that suck. We are at an age where we are losing loved ones left and right. I wish I had someone to talk to. It seems my in laws are lost and my family can't communicate without a screaming match. Mom has become very timid under sister's care, which is not like her at all.

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