Sibling Resentment

by Pam
(Wisconsin)

I am 62 years old. I lost my job and ended up on government aid. I am also the primary caretaker for my 88 year old mother.


During my unemployment we lived on food stamps and I had government welfare for medical. We basically lived on mom's social security. Of course, as time went by I lost my car.

Now, being 62, I finally applied for early social security and stopped looking for work as my mom became more dependent on me. My sister lives right behind me and she and her husband are both retired.

My mom and I rent our house from them. I have never missed paying the rent, even when my unemployment ran out, one year before I could collect early retirement.

Maybe I was wrong, but before I lost my car, I begged for 5k from my family to pay the outstanding loan on my car, I was told no by two brothers and my sister. My sister, who lives behind me, then informed me her and her husband were going to Europe for two weeks, and one of my brothers in Pennsylvania, was taking a cruise. Hence, sibling resentment.

As of now my mom and I have our social security and we are paying our bills and have food in the house. I make sure mom has everything she needs.

My resentment towards my siblings stems from not one of them considers that maybe I need a break!

It is hard for me to watch my life go by with no form of happiness to call my own. I am single and always have been, I have no children, no male companions. I moved to Wisconsin to be close to my sister expecting assistance.

All I get is lip service. She goes on living her life and taking vacations, they recently bought an RV and are traveling with that. I, on the other hand, spend day in a day out inside my little house, no time to do anything but care for my mother.

Mom is 88 years old, partially blind and partially deaf. She does not like to go out to much, but we do go shopping sometimes. But, again, not a lot of money, so really not a lot of extra shopping.

I am getting very frustrated of the siblings all living nice lives while I scrapped and save enough to purchase a 16 year old car so I can do food shopping and drive mom on occasion to do fun things.

This really just a rant, but I had no place else to go with this. I am getting really tired of hearing all their good life experiences while I dwindle away into nothingness. Thanks for listening.

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Thanks Dallas
by: Anonymous

Dallas, thanks for ideas. I am considering your idea of some time for myself. I think that would be most helpful, so I don't totally explode. Thanks

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Talk to Sister
by: Dallas

Tell your sister that she must do some of the grocery shopping for Mom and pick up prescriptions.

Also, schedule times each day where your sister sits with Mom for a few hours so you can have a break. Be firm about it !

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Judy
by: Pam

Thank you for the prayers, they are always welcome.

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Karma will even things out
by: Judy

Hi Pam,
I just wanted to let you know that someone is listening and I wish your life's journey could be more enjoyable.

It sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick. I will keep you in my prayers and I will hope that you will be rewarded for your efforts to make your mom's life as comfortable as you can.

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