Sibling Decides to Move 1,000 Miles Away to Leave me with the Entire Caregiver Burden

by Marsha
(Los Angeles, California)

I've been my mother's caregiver for the last 2-1/2 years. I have an older brother who is retired and lives close by.


Mom turns 90 today, her health is failing, and all he has on his mind is moving out of state at the end of the year into his "dream town".

I just lost my husband, I'm unemployed, financially strapped, worried about mom's expenses and future care, yet he is so eager to move, which leave's me without anyone to help with mom when I get into a desperate situation.

I feel so lost, afraid and anxiety stricken, wondering how I am going to continue handling all of this. My brother claims he loves mom so much, but he seems disconnected in my opinion. His mindset is so strange.

How do you decide to move 1,000 miles away at a critical time like this? Mom's not getting any better. To me he is so self-centered.

I would think he'd have the sense to stay nearby until mom's no longer around. I feel so angry (I think it's fear). I am not sure how I'm supposed to feel about him anymore.

Anyway, I just needed to vent as I couldn't sleep again. Does anyone agree that what he is doing is wrong?

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Brother moved too
by: Anonymous

My brother did this exact thing. I've wanted to move for years but of course never would have left our 90 year old mother. I found out at Christmas that not only did my brother buy a half million dollar house an hour and a half away in September, he also told my daughter not to tell me he had moved.

I've taken care of her for years while my brother was "too busy working." Of course I'm a single mother with tao kids and a business to run myself, always struggling to make ends meet. I also found out my brother is sole trustee and POA, with the deed to mom's $900k house in his name. I am DONE.

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Hard to Comprehend
by: Anonymous

Hard to Comprehend how selfish one can be. Why can't he wait until after his ailing Mother has passed before moving to his dream town? He should stay and help you and your Mom.

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