Shut Out of Medical Decisions

My niece is getting medical Power of Attorney, and I am the sole caregiver for my mom.

I know when she is depressed, if she is sick and I am the one always here to take the abuse and hear her screams all night. I don't sleep well, and I am getting depressed.

My own brother told me when I told him I wasn't sleeping well and it was a nightmare that it wasn't about me. I have no support from anywhere.

Anyway, I do not want my niece to be able to make decisions for my mothers medical care, and certainly not without my knowledge or consent.What should I do? Thanks

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Power of attorney
by: Anonymous

Did your mother give your niece legal power of attorney for both medical and financial affairs?

I would urge you to talk to your mom and have her award you with the legal right to care for her and her affairs. It seems highly unusual for a niece who is not the primary caregiver, and not the next of kin, to be involved in your mother's affairs.

You need help from a senior's advocacy group, legal clinic, or lawyer. Do not allow this injustice to take place. Your nieces' intentions are probably not honorable because she did not respect you enough to discuss her actions with you.

Part of your role as caregiver is to protect your mother' s interests from family members, and others, who try to take advantage of an elderly person who loves them. Your brother should ensure that his daughter behaves with respect, but if he doesn't, then take legal action.

Difficult situation
by: Anonymous

Hello Ruby. Thank you for your comment. You are right, I don't have family of my own. And I guess that makes it even more difficult. It is having no support that is the worse part, I think.

I will try to keep positive, but it just keeps getting harder and harder with no one to turn too. I can only do so much. Seems every time I need to call my Moms clinic and talk to a nurse about my Moms medications or behavior, my brothers daughter gets angry, and he sides with her.

It is all so ridiculous and stupid. I just don't understand it. But I will keep my sense of humor as much as I can:) And thank you for caring.

Medical Decisions
by: Anonymous

It must be so difficult for you that your niece is taking over your mother's medical care, as you said you are the main carer and feel that you are being undermined.

You are not sleeping and suffering from depression, so you could look at with a more positive point of view,it will take some of the responsibility from you, and if there were any comebacks then it would not be your fault, it will be one less thing to think of.

Looking after an elderly parent can take its toll on you, so the least worries you have the better it will be for you.

You must try and seek help for yourself, you are suffering from anxiety, you do not say much about yourself, so I don't know if you have a family of your own or friends.

But you should try and get as much help as possible, and not let this situation upset you,as it will only make your anxiety worse.
All the best Ruby

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