Selfish or Self Respecting?

by Horace
(Nevada)

My grandmother is 88 years old and has been living in a dementia facility for about a year now. I haven't visited her since she was in Assisted Living almost two years ago, but here's why:


Her youngest daughter (who is rich and is my grandma's legal guardian) maneuvered behind the scenes to restrict visits from my mother and I because she accused me of "harassing" my retarded aunt, her sister, who also lived at the time with my grandmother.

Of course, this came as not only a shock to me that I was accused of something I never did, but also to my mom, since she was naturally embroiled by this false accusation.

And none of the other relatives have spoken in my defense because they have either taken sides with her in her accusation against me, or prefer to see, hear and speak of no evil.

My mom and I haven't visited, or spoken to, grandma since this underhanded action on my aunt's part. What's more, I really don't wish to see her deteriorating from Alzheimer's.

Besides, I never loved her much anyway, since my grandmother was an abusive tyrant to her husband--my beloved late grandfather--and children, and was a selfish, nasty person that never cared for anyone other than herself.

It's also about money issues, since my grandmother is wealthy but is wasting away in a facility that costs probably $6,000 per month, while my family is poor, and has been ostracized by my rich aunt, who hides behind her religion and lawyer husband, and plays the false role of a martyred caretaker.

Does anyone else have a story that is similar to mine, wherein money has caused irreparable divisions and led to backstabbing over an elderly relative? Please share. I would like to know if my situation is unique or not.

EDITOR'S NOTE - You are not alone nor is your situation rare...happens all of the time to the best of families....it is however very painful to go/get through/survive...we wish you the best...

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