Selfish or Self Respecting?

by Horace
(Nevada)

My grandmother is 88 years old and has been living in a dementia facility for about a year now. I haven't visited her since she was in Assisted Living almost two years ago, but here's why:


Her youngest daughter (who is rich and is my grandma's legal guardian) maneuvered behind the scenes to restrict visits from my mother and I because she accused me of "harassing" my retarded aunt, her sister, who also lived at the time with my grandmother.

Of course, this came as not only a shock to me that I was accused of something I never did, but also to my mom, since she was naturally embroiled by this false accusation.

And none of the other relatives have spoken in my defense because they have either taken sides with her in her accusation against me, or prefer to see, hear and speak of no evil.

My mom and I haven't visited, or spoken to, grandma since this underhanded action on my aunt's part. What's more, I really don't wish to see her deteriorating from Alzheimer's.

Besides, I never loved her much anyway, since my grandmother was an abusive tyrant to her husband--my beloved late grandfather--and children, and was a selfish, nasty person that never cared for anyone other than herself.

It's also about money issues, since my grandmother is wealthy but is wasting away in a facility that costs probably $6,000 per month, while my family is poor, and has been ostracized by my rich aunt, who hides behind her religion and lawyer husband, and plays the false role of a martyred caretaker.

Does anyone else have a story that is similar to mine, wherein money has caused irreparable divisions and led to backstabbing over an elderly relative? Please share. I would like to know if my situation is unique or not.

EDITOR'S NOTE - You are not alone nor is your situation rare...happens all of the time to the best of families....it is however very painful to go/get through/survive...we wish you the best...

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Removing myself from this toxic relationship

    Mar 30, 20 10:46 AM

    Good Day, I would like to share my story please, I am the second youngest of 6 siblings. Three of my much older siblings have completely removed themselves

    Read More

  2. Mother In Law moved in at 96 years Old

    Mar 30, 20 10:45 AM

    My Mother In Law had to move in with us. She is 96, Blind, Spanish Speaking, (I am not), and has some dementia and memory problems. I feel guilty for

    Read More

  3. Ricky

    Mar 30, 20 10:44 AM

    I am the oldest of 3 siblings followed by 2 sisters. In 2012, I was facing a financial crisis and decided to move into my mother's home since she was a

    Read More