Self Serving Older Brother
My mom is 90, her health is failing and I have cared for her 2-1/2 years now. In the meantime, I ended up divorced and on my own without income or support, and plenty of monthly expenses.
Spouse got off easy and just walked away. I've almost used up all my retirement savings paying my bills, but I still have two years before I can collect social security. I don't have enough money to make it that long.
I have sleepless nights and most days feel dazed from constant worry and no peace of mind. After working for 44 years, I thought at my age I'd have a little time to enjoy what I missed out on when I was younger while raising kids and working.
Now I experience so much loneliness and the feeling of being forgotten about. I have a brother who is married, retired who's decided to put his house up for sale next month to move out of state about 700 miles away.
It does not even phase him that I'm in the predicament I'm in and gives no second thought about moving away while mom is in the condition she's in either. He claims to love her so much.
Truthfully, all he does is take her out for coffee once or twice a week (while she pays). If I ask him to take her to the doctor once a year,he'll do it but then leave the rest for me to do, like fill her prescriptions, get lab work done, etc. He cannot totally follow through.
Why he wants to move? Likely to be far enough away from mom and I when she ends up critical and in hospice. He won't need to be burdened as I will make all the last minute decisions and funeral arrangements that have never been discussed, because it is assumed that "I" will be the one responsible for that.
I plan on not being angry, but instead do what I know needs to be done - and get it done somehow. It's likely my brother and I will never speak again. I know he does not care much.