Sad, Tired and Stressed Out
(Roseburg, OR USA)
My mother will be 73 this weekend. She doesn't even have grey hair but has suffered 3 strokes (big time cigarette smoker), is now incontinent of urine, has late stage renal disease which is due to her uncontrolled high blood pressure she had.
I was living in California at the time and would talk to her on the phone and everything was always "fine." I realized when she came and stayed with me in Sacramento, things were most definitely not "fine."I had to work one day while she was visiting...I'm used to my mom doing what she needs to do and taking her medications, putting on clothes etc.
I come home from work at 11:30pm and the heater is on, sliding glass door wide open, my couch soaked in piss, mom not fed and not medicated...I was shocked. I asked her why and she just couldn't give me an answer.
She is now in assisted living because her husband was exhausted from taking care of her...she wouldn't arrange her pills, wouldn't take her pills, wouldn't bathe, wouldn't clean or help around the house at all...wouldn't eat..
My step dad and I never got along but I told him that I appreciated how he had tried to take care of her and did the best that he could. She's also a fall risk and takes Plavix and she had a huge black and blue bruise on her back from where she had fallen and just didn't tell anybody.
She's gotten mean and says nasty things to the caregivers who have to take care of her...I come and get her and take her places, buy her things and she come to spend the night sometimes but it's one helluva workout once I take her back cuz the bedding is soaked in piss and I do laundry all day....she can walk, slowly, but she refuses to and demands an electric wheelchair....
I tell her if she's capable of walking, she needs to walk because once she is bound to a chair, it's all down hill from there. I do have a brother but he rarely has anything to do with her.
He and myself are still resentful regarding the fact that she didn't protect us from our sexually and physically abusive father...she was there during the nude parties and did nothing...anyway, I guess it's all on me now...good old reliable Shannon..the one who always fears the consequences.