Sad, Tired and Stressed Out

by Shannon
(Roseburg, OR USA)

My mother will be 73 this weekend. She doesn't even have grey hair but has suffered 3 strokes (big time cigarette smoker), is now incontinent of urine, has late stage renal disease which is due to her uncontrolled high blood pressure she had.


I was living in California at the time and would talk to her on the phone and everything was always "fine." I realized when she came and stayed with me in Sacramento, things were most definitely not "fine."I had to work one day while she was visiting...I'm used to my mom doing what she needs to do and taking her medications, putting on clothes etc.

I come home from work at 11:30pm and the heater is on, sliding glass door wide open, my couch soaked in piss, mom not fed and not medicated...I was shocked. I asked her why and she just couldn't give me an answer.

She is now in assisted living because her husband was exhausted from taking care of her...she wouldn't arrange her pills, wouldn't take her pills, wouldn't bathe, wouldn't clean or help around the house at all...wouldn't eat..

My step dad and I never got along but I told him that I appreciated how he had tried to take care of her and did the best that he could. She's also a fall risk and takes Plavix and she had a huge black and blue bruise on her back from where she had fallen and just didn't tell anybody.

She's gotten mean and says nasty things to the caregivers who have to take care of her...I come and get her and take her places, buy her things and she come to spend the night sometimes but it's one helluva workout once I take her back cuz the bedding is soaked in piss and I do laundry all day....she can walk, slowly, but she refuses to and demands an electric wheelchair....

I tell her if she's capable of walking, she needs to walk because once she is bound to a chair, it's all down hill from there. I do have a brother but he rarely has anything to do with her.

He and myself are still resentful regarding the fact that she didn't protect us from our sexually and physically abusive father...she was there during the nude parties and did nothing...anyway, I guess it's all on me now...good old reliable Shannon..the one who always fears the consequences.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Only child

    Oct 14, 19 02:38 PM

    I am an only child caring for my father who has cancer. I have grown kids and nephews that my father considers his but actually belong to his ex wife.

    Read More

  2. Been there, done that. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!

    Oct 07, 19 03:05 PM

    I am so sorry for those of you who have a selfish,hateful elderly parent but if they treat you like this, then you should have no guilt in placing them

    Read More

  3. “I Don’t Know How You Do It”

    Oct 07, 19 02:56 PM

    This is probably the comment I hear the most. Truth is, I don’t know how I do it. I don’t want to do it. I do it because I have to do it. I do it because

    Read More