Ricky

I am the oldest of 3 siblings followed by 2 sisters. In 2012, I was facing a financial crisis and decided to move into my mother's home since she was a widow and needed a man to do upkeep repairs and lawn care.


Fast forward 8 years to 2020 and after deciding to stay here 5 yrs ago was when mom was diagnosed with Dementia.

I couldn't leave her here alone and that's where the most disturbing things started happening that directly affected me, my personal life, and the start of anger towards my sisters.

They have caused me so much drama, so much workload put on me and I really can't explain the hostile behavior and ongoing atmosphere of the way I've been done wrong and I cannot take it anymore!

I am so stressed and really miserable, especially worse after a near fatal head on crash exactly 1 year ago this month when a kid hit me.

I was broke up severely, putting me in a wheelchair, home Healthcare nur@es visiting home. Today, I am still trying to get well but my ankle stays swollen with acute pain yet while they have a life and I always have to work with them and their willingness to get mom so I can even sleep in on my off days.

Its been so bad that I just announced that I will not be here much longer bc I have had to not just care for mom but additional self care. I have all but begged for them to please help me more.

They could care less about me and I'm sick of the games especially 1 sister who doesn't work and yet she is constantly using her old excuse of sick, migraine, diarrhea you name it she gets it.

I don't know how to describe this long term TOXIC nightmare of heartbreaking watching mom go down like this and reality that I finally see what I have suspected of my siblings they only care about their own lives and have no real love for their brother.

I am lied to, talked about, had the most vulgar words said about me and to me over the phone. Did I mention that the baby sister is the POA? She sits up there like a Queen barking orders like an idiot and teams up with other sibling against me.

What is so very wrong with asking and asking for f2f talks and stop telling me what I need to do.

If you guys only knew just how much I have journaled all of the tyrant style towards me only bc they know I will not get physical with them. Please help I am walking straight out this door fast as I get a small place.
Sincerely exhausted, Forgive the lengthy note.

R Lewis

Comments for Ricky

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
The Ugly Sisters
by: Anonymous

Dear Ricky, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this horrible situation and having to deal with such awful siblings; I can relate to that as I also have two sisters from hell. Firstly have you had any help at all for the trauma following the car crash?

This in itself is enough to cause ongoing symptoms. I am UK based so I'm not sure what access you have to therapies in the USA or what they cost but something like EMDR would be very beneficial.

Secondly, is there any way you can get some support for your mum as caring for someone with Dementia definitely gets harder and harder and we all have our limitations.

Go beyond them and you will be in trouble. It doesn't sound like your sisters will be rushing to help out. Does your mum have enough capacity to change the POA? Regarding your sisters in general, it is difficult to accept what you are given as family and I know some of the unbelievable things that siblings can say and do to a)make you feel bad to b)make themselves feel better.

They sound very dysfunctional. Is there someone you can trust to talk to about how you honestly feel as a way of venting your feelings because if you let the anger brew it will affect you negatively and you don't need that.

You have a lot to be proud of in terms of qualities as a person from the small amount you have written in your post. Try and direct your emotional energy into whatever it takes to make your life feel better and try not to waste it waiting and expecting change from the twisted sisters.

It's about understanding what dynamics you can influence positively and focusing on them. You're not alone, both my husband and I have foul families, I could write a book about my own but I don't think anyone would believe me! Take care

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Visitation

    May 06, 20 04:21 PM

    My mom is 98 years old. She started going down about 2 years ago. Her living situation at her house (stairs, no bathroom downstairs, unable to fix her

    Read More

  2. Stuck Caring for Mean, 73 year old Mother

    Apr 27, 20 09:58 AM

    I am a 50 year old (divorced, no kids) female and an only child. My dad died decades ago and I'm the only family member willing to care for my mom. My

    Read More

  3. Independent stubborn elderly parents

    Apr 20, 20 03:51 PM

    Hi.. I feel like I need to title, Chapter 1 How Did We Get so Dysfunctional? I am most frustrated with the division between us 4 adult children, in

    Read More