When I was growing up I never felt my mom was there for me. She made sure we ate, we had clothes (not a lot) and we had a roof over our head. But my mom was always very selfish, we lived around her.
When we were younger it wasn't tooooooo bad because we just did as we were told, or by *the look*. But has I got older my mom was very negative towards me. Any decisions I made she always pooh poohed. Always gave a negative response. It got to the point that I would not do anything unless it was all okay-ed by my mother.
She would belittle me in front of people all the time. Berate. She would be oblivious to the uncomfortable looks people gave her. Or sympathetic looks towards me. If I started to tell a story or tale she would always jump in and say *shut up, let me tell them* literally that is what she would do.
It was so embarrassing and annoying because she never told it right anyway!! Not that I corrected her!! I had that for years and years, if I was sitting on a chair in the lounge watching TV for instance and my mom came through she would just say *move!* and sit down in the chair.
This went on for many many many years. Undermined, belittled. But I never really questioned it. As long as she was in a relatively good mood I was happy, that way she wouldn't be toooooo caustic.
She even took control of my little boys funeral and wouldn't let me go because it would be too upsetting!! I have never recovered from this and only found his grave after he had been gone 13 years.
Then years later I had 2 little girls. The youngest has cerebral palsy with complex needs.
That changed me forever because once she came along all other things ceased to be important.
Especially my moms moods, she did try to pull me down in different ways but it really didn't matter anymore. Once she realized the tide had turned she then became very clingy to me, something which I really resent.
I love my mom very much but I resent her neediness terribly. I really really do resent it. There is so much more that brought me down in life but this is the gist of my resentment. HOW AM I GONNA GET PASSED THIS ....... HELP