Resentment no, Disappointment yes!

by Nameless

Considering the mom has lived with my husband and I for about 15yrs after selling her house. The usual Doctor's appointments, healthcare decisions along with the mountain of other tasks has mounted up over the years.

Taking time off from a full time job, changing jobs frequently to find one that permits telecommuting and flex time is a blessing.

The siblings live some distance away and with moms health decline requiring a home health aide(wonderful)the responsibility of everything is to the pint of exhaustion. I have relayed the information to siblings with the reply that "Do what's best for you". Never once have they offered to come for a week, or stay a few hours even to give me a break. They take vacations and spend time with their families which I can appreciate but when I ask for help all I get is their backs turned. Kind of like falling and raising your hand up for help up and there's no one there.

I get the "you should do this or that" but they haven't a clue as to what mom's capabilities are or are not and the best place for her currently is here with me.

Sadly, I don't think the siblings would look after her like I do.
Perhaps it's the way I am put together and I would like for moms last years to be in comfort and stability but it becomes a daily challenge.

My marriage and relationships have suffered yet I push on. I figure if folks don't want to hang with you during the ruff times they might not be worth having around anyway.
Well per usual I hear some rustling around and I need to go tens to what mom needs.

It's a thankless job most of the time but at least I know that I do not suffer alone and there are plenty of others walking this same path.
Good luck to all and may mercy shine on us when our time comes.

Comments for Resentment no, Disappointment yes!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Under Pressure!
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you've been "allowed" to take on this task by your siblings and they are pretending not to understand the toll it takes?

It's a huge commitment for you and I recognize the cost.... but what about you? Would you honestly trust them to stand in for you? This is such a hard situation and no matter how obvious it seems, we simply can't make our siblings feel like we do, so I guess we make that choice and take on responsibility, or we abdicate.

I understand some of what you are going through but I don't have any answers, I can only say that if you feel you are doing the right thing, then battle on, if you feel that you are being abused, then take the next step. Don't waste time expecting your siblings to see the reality, they are probably not capable and you will only punish yourself.........

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Need help with negative complaining mother

    Dec 28, 20 12:23 PM

    My mother is 93, in good health, no major heath issues, totally ambulatory. When my father died 6 years ago we found her a beautiful independent senior

    Read More

  2. Ugh!!

    Dec 28, 20 12:21 PM

    So I lost my mom 18 months ago. After her passing I would come to my parents house to clean and cook a couple of times a week for my dad. He still gets

    Read More

  3. 16yrs of Elderly care with NO HELP

    Dec 28, 20 12:18 PM

    I came back home in 2004 to help my dad as he had cancer, he eventually passed away few years later. Well here I am am in 2020 still at home taking care

    Read More