Resentment no, Disappointment yes!

by Nameless
(Caregiver)

Considering the mom has lived with my husband and I for about 15yrs after selling her house. The usual Doctor's appointments, healthcare decisions along with the mountain of other tasks has mounted up over the years.


Taking time off from a full time job, changing jobs frequently to find one that permits telecommuting and flex time is a blessing.

The siblings live some distance away and with moms health decline requiring a home health aide(wonderful)the responsibility of everything is to the pint of exhaustion. I have relayed the information to siblings with the reply that "Do what's best for you". Never once have they offered to come for a week, or stay a few hours even to give me a break. They take vacations and spend time with their families which I can appreciate but when I ask for help all I get is their backs turned. Kind of like falling and raising your hand up for help up and there's no one there.

I get the "you should do this or that" but they haven't a clue as to what mom's capabilities are or are not and the best place for her currently is here with me.

Sadly, I don't think the siblings would look after her like I do.
Perhaps it's the way I am put together and I would like for moms last years to be in comfort and stability but it becomes a daily challenge.

My marriage and relationships have suffered yet I push on. I figure if folks don't want to hang with you during the ruff times they might not be worth having around anyway.
Well per usual I hear some rustling around and I need to go tens to what mom needs.

It's a thankless job most of the time but at least I know that I do not suffer alone and there are plenty of others walking this same path.
Good luck to all and may mercy shine on us when our time comes.

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Under Pressure!
by: Anonymous

It sounds like you've been "allowed" to take on this task by your siblings and they are pretending not to understand the toll it takes?

It's a huge commitment for you and I recognize the cost.... but what about you? Would you honestly trust them to stand in for you? This is such a hard situation and no matter how obvious it seems, we simply can't make our siblings feel like we do, so I guess we make that choice and take on responsibility, or we abdicate.

I understand some of what you are going through but I don't have any answers, I can only say that if you feel you are doing the right thing, then battle on, if you feel that you are being abused, then take the next step. Don't waste time expecting your siblings to see the reality, they are probably not capable and you will only punish yourself.........

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