Resentful of Siblings

I do not resent caring for my father at all, as I love him and want him to know that he is loved and cared for.

I know that I will not feel any regret after he is gone, as I have done all that I can. I do, however, feel that I will be an only child when this is all over.

I have three other siblings.. one nearby, the others only a few hours away. I have begged and pleaded for help only to be told off or that we should put him into a home. I will never forget their lack of help or the compassion that they have denied my father.

I wish there were some other way, but I will not ask for their help ever again. On the plus side, I have wonderful friends who have no problem pitching in when I ask. Go figure.

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Siblings part of problem not solution
by: Tara

Wow! As I was reading your comment, it was like I was reading my own story. Older siblings all live nearby and rarely call and never help .

Elderly parent is 100% compos mentis but is just getting older. Siblings either won't help or if pressed into action , make a huge deal about it. Even worse, they promise to call and don't show.

They resent me for all sorts of juvenile reasons based on adolescent resentments. My siblings by the way, are in their 60's! I found it hard for a long time to accept their selfishness, but I'm letting go now.

Not easy to accept that I'm effectively an only child . It really does help to read the stories hear- it's good to know I'm not alone.

Response to "totally can relate.."
by: Anonymous

Hi. I just read your kind words to my post. Thank you. I have to say that I almost choked when I read your comment about only one weekend vacation. I too recently went away for a weekend only to be told that my trip was "really bad timing." Seriously? Wow. Hang in there.

From what I've been hearing, this is pretty common so I guess we'd better just get used to it. One word, though: KARMA. :)

Totally can relate...
by: Anonymous

I have the same problem with my siblings. Only it is our Mother, instead of Dad. I too give caregiving to Our Mother, key word: OUR. But you'd think I was her only child.

It has been three years and I have only had one weekend off to go on a mnt trip. I have almost begged. I often hear, let me get back to you. But they never do. And while one does live five hours away, he sure does a lot of family vacations. Mom could go along sometimes or they could at least bring her to their home, that she has begged them to let her visit. I am so tired.

And I fear that she will not be able to go if they keep waiting. She is declining more every day.
I have to say that you are the best child your Father has. You truly care. And you will not regret it, as you stated. Bless you!

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