Relating

by Rachel

I can't help but agree with many of the comments of those venting on this site.


My parents didn't plan for retirement either and now they have become a terrible burden on my sister and her family.

I moved 1200 miles to be with my elderly parents to help my sister in their care because my parents of from that golden 50's generation where they had all that they wanted, whenever they wanted, and never worried a dang bit about what or how their decisions would affect the rest of the world.

You know, the gas guzzling gluttons.

My mom was a stay at home mom, and even when she NEEDED to go to work, she didn't! She stayed home because she had to have a clean house and make sure we had clean clothes! Now that they are old, they have little to live on.

My dad has COPD and his care is costing a fortune. The electric bill just to run all his equipment, oxygen machine, ventilator, and power up his scooter, is costing almost $500.00 a month. Social Security doesn't pay for that!

My father's dementia from the lack of oxygen has made him more angry than he's ever been and he's never, never, never ever, did I say EVER happy about anything!!!! No matter what anyone does for him, he's miserable and takes it out on others including my poor mother who waits on him hand and foot!!

I secretly wished he'd go to a nursing home, but no one else in the family agrees with this. He'd lose his Social Security benefits and my mom would then be forced to live on her meager $400.00 a month. That means we'd be forced to pick up her living expenses!

So either way, they're a burden to us kids who are struggling in this bad economy just trying to keep our heads above water!!! I feel so guilty having these bad feelings towards them.

I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if my parents at least acted grateful a tiny bit, but they aren't grateful. They are resentful and demanding!!! HELP!!!

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Apply for Aid!
by: Anonymous

You mother and father are low income, get in touch with the Agency on Aging. My mother has 24/7 and her bill for oxygen is $500 a month, she pays only $50.00 per month.

If you want to help you parents help yourself too. Tell everyone that they are low income and you would like applications because they can't afford their medications, oxygen. There are so many programs.

There are programs that can come into your home and clean for your parents, cook and offer someone to sit with them for you to get away.

Every state varies from state what programs they offer. Please don't think you have to do it yourself. Get in touch with the Dementia association of Alzheimer's they are going to be able to tell you what resources are available for you to apply.

You can get on the computer and call some people since your parents aren't able to do it.

Hopefully that helps

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Keep YOUR Marriage and Children a Priority
by: Anonymous

Most of us with parents who ruled the world in the 50's are now stumped that they had NO plan for being elderly or compromised in any way.

Talk about denial! My parents had NO plan for nursing homes, etc...because that happened to other people.

Would it work to put your father in assisted living and let your Mom live with you or your sister. Sell off the assets and let the chips fall?

Hang in there. The generation that created the baby boom are extremely self centered and demanding. They had it all and they will keep it all in the end.

You need to keep YOUR sanity and make YOUR family the priority. Sounds harsh, but there is no easy answer here.

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