Ready to Scream
My sister and I are dealing with both of our parents, 90 & 92, and they are driving us to despair.
My dad has dementia and is quite advanced now, but my mom refuses to put him in an Alzheimer's unit, or even assisted living. It is not because she doesn't want them parted. It is financial.
They have the money but she won't spend it.
So she grows more weary and angry every day as she tries to deal with him and her own weakened state.
At one point, after she broke her kneecap in a fall, we moved them into an assisted living apartment. After a few months, my mom called the movers and moved them back to their condo. (We had it on the market, but it didn't sell fast enough).
We have tried a cleaning/companion service. She refused to answer the door. We have a new cleaning lady who has come twice and now she is ready to fire her, too, because she wants to switch her cleaning day from Thursday to Wednesday.
Mom is furious with her.
They are both bitter and angry and it drains the life out of me. I can hardly stand to visit or call. It is like drinking poison.
The only help she wants is from my sister and I and we are exhausted. Now we are feeling angry and resentful that they won't accept ANY help except from us.
They have always been critical and difficult.
This is 10 times worse.
When people who have lost their parents tell me I am so lucky to still have mine, I want to scream
but I know that they would never understand.