Primary Caregiver For My Elderly Mother

by Donna M Menken
(Maple Grove, MN USA)

I am the primary caregiver of my elderly Mother. I have an older brother and a younger sister and my sister moved to another town after marriage about 30 years ago. My brother also lives in another town and I chose to stay close to my Mother. I have probably been emotionally closer to my Mother because I am the eldest daughter and we have always done things together.... as a matter of fact she has been one of my closet friends.

My Mother is now in her mid 80's and she has declined a lot in the last few years. I have been taking off work to take her to the doctor to see if there was anything wrong and it appears it is just aging. My brother on the other hand is retired but, feels it is about an hour drive and that is too far for him to come. She is becoming very forgetful and she had two driving accidents with in two weeks. I was afraid for her so, I finally talked her into giving up driving so, I am driving her around.

I am trying to do as much as I can for her but, I am soon to be 66 years old and cannot afford to retire with medical problems of my own and I work full time and live alone and have to take care of my own home and responsibilties. I am getting very little help from my siblings. I have tried to ask them for help and I got anger instead.

I am now trying to turn to my friends. I just don't know what else to do.I am afraid that if I get real sick and something happens to me , what will happen to my Mother.