Only child

by Hope W
(Lexington KY)

I am an only child caring for my father who has cancer. I have grown kids and nephews that my father considers his but actually belong to his ex wife.

I’m tired I’m mad I have no help my husband tells me I’m an old bag and my kids refuse to help anymore. I need a break. I am dying inside.

I’m angry I’m hateful I need at least one day but I can’t even get a few hours let alone a whole day. My husband works 7 days a week bc he wants to avoid responsibility here with me. My dad is extremely difficult to handle. I’m just tired and about to give up.

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People don't care
by: Anonymous

I have learned that people, family or otherwise really do not care what we go through, plain and simple.
Just have to face the fact.

I understand how you feel, as do millions of others like us.

Just remember, one day at the pearly gates, the record will be clear and our reward will be waiting there for all of us!
(I hope!)

Not Alone
by: Sadie

Dear Hope, I wish I could step in and help you out but I am a long way away from you across the Atlantic Ocean so I will do my best to send some support via this forum.

Please use what little energy you have left to try and get some support. If you dad has cancer could he go into a nursing home for some respite care - that would be paid for in the UK; I really hope you can sort something out.

Any volunteer groups that could assist? Could you speak to a doctor for some advice. Do you have anything like MacMillan nurses? A neighbour?

There MUST be someone who cares enough to lend a hand. You must get some help or you will break.

I'm not going to comment on your husband but you deserve better than that. You're not alone Hope and there are so many people out there who care, I pray you find support soon. Best wishes, take care.

can you afford a facility?
by: Anonymous

it honestly sounds to me like that is your only option at this point. or at the very least a caregiver to come in one or two days a week to take over for you for a little bit.

it's hard and no one wants the job. tell husband since he's working extra that money can go toward relief for you before you're completely broken. I'm sorry. hang in there, and hugs for you.

At least you tried
by: Anonymous

If you can't do it anymore, at least you tried and helped him for this long. Your efforts to date aren't without value.

It's probably better to get him set up in a nursing home now, before you become sick as well, and his care diminishes. You have no support, and you can't keep on at this level. There is no shame in this, because you tried.

Best of luck for you and your dad.

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