Only Child

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Only Child

by Chris
(Baltimore, MD)

I am an only daughter taking care of my elderly mother. She can only afford adult day care one day a week. She has not started yet and is not sure she wants to go at all.

I am single and self supporting and still working (I am 61). I have no husband or children to help so I am always tired. My mother has a difficult personality, does not like to listen to much of anything and thrives on negative attention.

She likes to irritate me. I think it is because her brother was my grandmothers favorite child. My mother is also a pathological liar. Any suggestions?

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What an Ordeal!
by: Anonymous

I really feel for you, what an awful situation! I'm guessing you feel very alone right now?
I know that there are no easy solutions to your situation, but try to remember that you have a life of your own, and an absolute right to try to enjoy it.

You say that there are underlying issues with your mum, but honestly, they are not your issues. Don't try to be your mums analyst, it's not your job and don't become the one that empowers her.

If she loves you, she won't want that for you, and if she doesn't love you, why are you trying so hard? I don't want to sound callous but sometimes you just have to decide how far you are prepared to go. That's not selfish, it's just acknowledging that you are a person too! Good luck and best wishes......

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Get Your Own Life
by: Anne

Get your own life. If your mother is nasty then don't live with it. My dad is a really nice guy but if he was not, I would be out of there.
Tell your mom, that she either goes to daycare and gives you a break or you are out of there.

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Appointed Ones
by: Jann

All I can tell you is that I have two totally able-bodied sisters living right here in the same town with me, and I might as well be an only child. They leave all my 85-year old mom's care to me.

Just didn't want you to feel cheated because you are an only child because most times that makes no difference. Maybe we are appointed to carry the load, I don't know. At least you don't have to feel the resentment that us with siblings have who don't do their part. It's all so hard no matter what the situation. But as difficult as it is, some of us have empathy for the once who gave us life and some don't.

God sees, God knows who we all are. Hang in there sweetie, do your best, and know that you are not alone. I wish you the best and I pray every day that it will all come out in the wash for all of us who are the appointed ones!

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