Only Child with Two 88 year Old Parents Living with Me

by Donna
(NJ)

After my divorce I invited my parents to live with me and my two kids, who are now both grown and out of the house. It has been five years since my divorce, and I really wonder what I was thinking sometimes. My mom was a HUGE help for all these years but my Dad has been hospitalized six times and been in rehab and continues to decline.


He sleeps most of each day. He has diabetes and heart disease but they eat terribly - sweets and beef and BBQ. They make no concessions whatsoever to diet changes tho I have tried for years to get them to do that.

My mom has been the primary caretaker for my Dad. I don't do much for him; she does everything.
I just returned from a trip and they have both been sick the last two days. I have felt a lot of anger - that they don't change their ways of eating, that they deny what is happening. Mom seems to think Dad is going to magically get better but he will not.

He is actually 89, she is 88 and pretty spry and still driving, doing laundry, etc., But I think taking care of him is taking a huge toll on her. I tried to get them into assisted living but mom said she didn't want to be there after he died. She's a loner. He should have gone into assisted living several years ago, in my opinion. It would have been better for him I think. But who knows.

I hate it when I feel anger and resentment. They have given me so much, throughout my life. But my own life is not so great sometimes now, and I am 61 and worry sometimes about being alone after they are gone. I was married 27 years. Anyway, this morning I have felt a lot of anger and used Google to find some help.
Thanks for being here.

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Thank You
by: Anonymous

Thank you both so much for writing. It helps to not feel so alone.

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Zinc
by: Anonymous

Hi, maybe you already know this. I was watching a show today that said people who have a zinc deficiency tend to only want to eat sweets and things like that.

But once their zinc levels are good, they are almost turned off by junk food and sweets.
You said your parents eat a lot of sweets and things, so just mentioning this to help you.
Maybe you can Google zinc deficiency.

I not only wish you the best, but affirm it for you.

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Hear ya
by: Anonymous

Good to hear you Donna, welcome.
These pages are great for venting, sometimes just writing helps alleviate the anger and resentment and....sometimes it doesn't. :)

Just wanted to say hi and let you know you are not alone in your fears about your parents. It is so hard to watch someone you love do things that are harming them.
mary

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