Only Child needs Guidance from Others Going Through the Same...
(San Francisco, CA)
I am an only child. My mother is 81 years old. My father whom I was very close to died 3 years ago suddenly. Since then my mother has been on a health decline. She is now suffering from a lot of back pain.
I live in San Francisco, very happy, own my small condo, boyfriend, busy stressful career and friends.
My mother lives in Las Vegas. We have had the talk over the past several years of her options.
The problem is we have a strained relationship. She is very resentful of me for various reasons, however I am now the person responsible for taking care of her.
For the past 3 years I have been going there for a week or so every three months, taking off from work without pay. She is very mad that I will not just drop everything in my life and move there to take care of her.
I offered suggestions of either we get someone to come in and help her out when I am not there which I would help pay for. Next option move near me in either assisted living or apartment that I could take her around to look at.
She wants none of that and is not willing to work with me in finding her care. She is resistant to everything and she is getting worse. She won't let me call her doctors or get involved in her life to try and help her (however I call them anyway and she gets mad).
She doesn't want me involved but berates me every chance she gets...everyone else's children do more, pay more etc. Things are getting worse.
What do I do? I am exhausted and feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. She fights me over everything.