Only Child Caring for Furious Father who Abused me. My Health is Fading from Stress

by E.J.
(Sacramento, Ca, USA)

My father who beat me regularly from an infant is in an independent living apartment. Every 2-3 months he calls in a rage and wants to move because of the food, the attitudes of staff, he says they are trying to get rid of him, everything you can think of.


He can't afford the really posh places and he makes too much money for the section 8 housing.

He had tons of money coming in but swears he is broke and can't afford the $2,500 a month they are charging him. He gets a nice apartment, transportation, 3 gourmet meals a day, trips to the wine country, housekeeper, all utilities, etc. but he won't stop complaining.

I can't take it anymore.

I can't care for him. He was so horrid to me my whole life. It killed my brother. Now I am stuck with this mean, horrid miserable man. I don't know what to do when he calls in a rage and wants to move. I fear I will get sick and die from the stress of it all.

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Dont do it
by: Anonymous

If you think your stress level is high now, just imagine how bad it will be if you increase your level and amount of interaction.

My father was horrid to me as a teen. Somehow I got ensnared being his indentured servant for the last 24 years. He is nasty to my husband and my kids. Wants to be the center of attention at all times. Sounds as if you have his twin for a father too.

Ignore his request until he reaches the point of needing a nursing home. Do you have POA? If not, get it now. If he will not give it to you, cut off all contact.

Been there....am there.....fat, bitter, high blood pressure, migraines, afraid I will stroke out from the stress of it all.

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Whatever you do don't let him move in
by: Anonymous

Don't let him move in with you. He beat you your entire life! He doesn't deserve your help! Let him continue to rant and rave, tell him he could have it much worse in section 8 housing with the poor people.

People don't understand how much they have, they are never grateful.

It seems like that is what old people do they complain about everything. My mothers complained so much she lost her daughter (me) who did everything for her and it was never good enough.

I could never measure up to my brother and when
I had enough I thought I'd have a heart attack. So my brother took over, since then I've been doing a little better.

Please don't let him back into your life, people who continue to be abuse can eventually have one too many beatings and kill you. Not to mention he might beat other people of your household, hope you don't have kids.

Please please leave him where he is at sound like he has it way better than most people. Take him on a little trip to a regular nursing home! maybe he'll shut up.

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