Only Active Daughter in her Life/Caregiver

by Cindy
(Front Royal, VA)

68 year old mother, retired RN, doesn't participate in ADL's, only on selective days.


Sleeps all the time, doesn't bathe, hoards, doesn't understand her insurance, doesn't follow-up on her health, she has multiple health complaints, non-compliant diabetic, heart surgery patient, eye-sight is failing from diabetes mismanagement, she has Social Security income of $1400/mo.

She is angry all the time and whines to anyone who listens. She has alienated friends and family. She is forgetful (family Alzheimer's),

She demands that I need to come and clean her trailer and I physically can't do it alone. She refuses to let outside helpers help me. She only lets me in her trailer.
She drives car erratically. If she hears an answer she doesn't like she cusses and threatens.

She says her mismanaged financial trouble and life would be better if she would just die or find a gun and shoot herself. She doesn't take any of my suggestions, she says nobody believes her that this is all real.

I found her a new MD who she seems to like and found out she bought a Humana plan so he's out of network so she has to pay over $150 co-pay to see him now she says she won't do any of it.

She wants to be a DNR but has no other advance directives of Power of Attorney in plan and will not do it yet. She is still physically capable and if things of business are explained, she can still be mentally capable. She will not go to find out if she qualifies for medicaid or other assistance.

I'm sure she doesn't like her lot in life right now, but she is venomous to me and to others.

When she does drive to visit me, she criticizes my whole house, appearance, attitude, belittles my husband and children and tells the children I don't know if I'll be around for another holiday with you and she tells all her health complaints to my 16 year old son whom she says she loves dearly, and she has thrown her 23 yr old granddaughter out of her life.

She has always had a mean streak and was an abusive mother to me and my sister. She hasn't spoken to my sister in at least 25 years. Oh yes, she divorced our dad 25 yrs ago and is alone and she doesn't like the idea that I talk and visit him from time to time.

Anything that suddenly happens in her life is a big drama that she must tell me about. I have been asking her to let me contact her insurance company's so as to take some of the burden off her, but somehow she let even that escalate.

That's my life....how's yours?

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Humana etc
by: Anonymous

Isn't she on Medicare? I didn't think they had networks, except for some doctors not accepting Medicare themselves. If this is her supplement, it can be easily changed. My sister is on Medicare, with Humana as her part D (prescriptions).

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