Once Again She Turns into the Victim

My mom has a habit of watching me and staring at me for hours, no matter what I'm doing. The last 3 times I told her she made me feel uncomfortable she claimed she wasn't watching me but thinking of other things.

Well, the staring continues and tonight I had had enough (again) and I told her to STOP watching me all the time. Again she said "I'm not watching you, I'm thinking of other things" Well while she is thinking of other things, she is asking me questions about what I am doing, so yes she is watching me.

When I pointed that out to her she said "never mind forget it" and then she demanded I take her to her room.

I was thrilled to say goodnight and then return to the (finally) solitude of my family room.

She acts all insulted when I ask her to stop staring at me. My space is violated constantly and she is the one who is offended?

If she insists on staring at me each day , I will remove myself and go elsewhere then she can stare at an empty room to her hearts content.

Comments for Once Again She Turns into the Victim

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

by: Anonymous

To the person who commented on my post, thanks.

I don't know if my mom has Alzheimer's or Dementia. She has never been diagnosed.
I just thought she was bored and wanted to watch me doing anything and everything.

I will keep your advice in mind though. Maybe this indicates the beginning of something.


by: Anonymous

If you can get your hands on a book called The 36 Hour Day, a caregiver's guide to Alzheimers and Dementia, read it.

Your mom is likely much worse off and confused than you realize. Mine does the same thing - stares at me all the time.

I don't think she even realizes she is and trying to explain to her how it makes me feel is no use - her mind can't comprehend things like that anymore. You're expecting your mother to still make sense and nothing in her head does.

She will just know for the moment that she has angered you, but has no idea what she did to cause it. You need to some education with what you're dealing with and I don't mean that snarky, but you do just as I did after a few months with my mom here.

One of my mom's big things is me washing my hair. Why? I have no idea. I wash it in the sink because I get dizzy in the shower. Every damned time - you wash your hair more than anyone I know. Cripes, I've gone from every other day to like every four days just to avoid this confrontation.

And it goes on and on and on about my hair. Why the hell would that be a big deal? I dread washing my hair !!! If I ask her about it, she has no idea what I'm talking about.

The thought processes are just not there like they used to be. When I finally realized that, things became easier because I could then blame the "situation" I was in instead of her. It's not her fault things don't work upstairs anymore, nor is it your mom's fault.

If you can find a way to separate that you will begin to feel a little more compassion than anger. Not always, but usually.

Hang in there.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.

Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2018 | All Rights Reserved

Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Who am I?

    Mar 23, 18 12:03 PM

    I've always considered myself a compassionate and caring person, that is until my mom moved in with us. I find myself filled with anger and resentment

    Read More

  2. Hijacked Energy

    Mar 19, 18 01:38 PM

    Don’t let your parent hijack your energy. What you focus on is where your energy goes. According to the Law of Attraction, what we focus on is what we

    Read More

  3. Single Mom and 80 Year Old Dad

    Mar 19, 18 01:36 PM

    I have been searching the internet to come across experiences like mine. And here I am. It is sooo difficult to take care of an aging parent and here I

    Read More