On the Farm...what the hell have I done?
I was STUPID enough to drag my family back to the home farm 23 years ago to begin a life of indentured servitude for my whole family to help my elderly controlling parents.
We have worked full time jobs and on his farm for no pay for all this time. When we struggle financially we get a tirade about not being able to live frugally. Compared to all other humans out there I am the portrait of frugal living. I am 50 years old and have never had my nails done!
Now my kids are grown and want NOTHING to do with my surviving 93 year old father who is a negative, spiteful control freak.
It took a county sheriff to make him stop driving last year. We could not even though he put many lives in danger on the road.
We have asked for some of the family antiques and he always says no but he will give piles of them away to people at church.
My brother who does nothing for him and has nothing to do with him showed up last week to repay a 30 year old loan of significant amount and my father told him to forget about it.
We work our butts off and get nothing but criticism for it.
When I was 16 my father brutally beat me. Today he would be sitting in jail. I was so scared to leave home, I just took it. I spend a lot of time wondering what my life could have been like if I just could have had someone who really cared get me out of there and showed my what life could have in store for me instead of just getting sucked back in to his control.
I am at my wits end, bitter and desperate for some freedom. How do any of you all get past this, how do you cope. Now I understand how some people just walk away.