On My Own Here

My 84 yr old mother has stage 5/6 Alzheimer's. About a month ago I moved her from her apartment in Maryland to my home in Florida, so that she would be closer to myself and my siblings.

I am 63 years old and disabled due to prostate cancer. My wife's health is not great either.

My two brothers refused to help in any way, and still refuse to so much as call Mom. Two days after arriving here, she became ill, and had to be hospitalized for pneumonia.

Her dementia has rapidly increased to the point that she can no longer care for herself, so I was forced to put her in a nursing home. I have to spend most of every day there, because she becomes hostile and abusive to the staff, and tries to escape at least once a day.

My wife was understanding at first, but she is getting tired of the life we are forced to live now. It has been a financial and emotional drain.

I was already living with the problems caused by my own disease, and now I feel trapped. I am the only one who calls or visits, so I can't just desert her, but I think my wife will leave me if this continues much longer.

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Caregiver Caught in Between Caring for Father in Law
by: SWC2015

So - I'm the daughter-in-law living next door to my elderly father-in-law who is quickly nearing the end of his days.

There are two sisters living nearby who provide little support, which is something my husband and I have come to accept.

However, as he is needing more constant care, they have started to voice resentment over my involvement. I'm caught.

I would easily back away if one of them would step up, but they don't seem to acknowledge that he needs hourly attention. And I can't in all conscience step away. My fear is that this will erode my marriage and family relationships.

I feel as if they are focusing their angst on me as I'm the outsider in the situation. Feel that I'm caught in a trap of non-communication as I don't want to make this "about me" at this critical time. Advice?

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