Older sibling

by N
(Boston, MA)

I am the older daughter to my 78 year-old father, who is currently hospitalized due to poor compliance to requests from his healthcare team at his nursing home.


He is stubborn and self-absorbed and was a cheating husband and neglectful parent most of our lives.

My younger sibling took him in two years ago when he drove to Texas and he was such a bad housemate, guest and patient that my sister had no choice but to put him in a long-term facility.

Neither one of us has the resources to take care of him financially, and thus cannot move him to a better nursing site where he could be more comfortable and I could visit him more easily.

My younger sister suffered the brunt of my father's narcissism growing up, an unfortunate reality that my father has since forgotten, but my sister is still recovering from.

For the sake of her own mental health my sister has severed all contact with my father. I am not angry at my sibling in the least, but I wish there was more I could do for my father.

My dad's dementia has taken hold now as a result of his loneliness and depressed mood, and I attempt to stay connected to his caregivers, but cannot fly halfway across the country every week to remind him that someone loves him.

Trying to say that on the phone is not easy and at some point my father will no longer be able to have that conversation with me.

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