Old Age is Just Misery

by Gloria
(United Kingdom)

Old age seems to be a miserable condition, there is no cure just a deterioration of your body and soul, people say that they want to live to be a 100 yet no one really wants to grow old.

My mother is nearly 88 years old, I see to her needs make sure she is comfortable yet, old age brings loneliness and a feeling of not being of any worth. You have done your job on this earth now is the time to wait for God, sometimes that can be a long wait.

I feel miserable watching my mother and her health problems that have been brought on by old age, there is nothing anyone can do. There is no pill to make her well just the same thing day in day out, my life is not my own as I have the constant caring for her, and the worse is the depression she has.

I cannot really say that I am a free being and at my time of life I feel I should be as the clock is ticking away. I sometimes think that nothing will ever change, my mother suffers greatly with self pity and has lost interest in everything.

She does not live just merely exists.

So many of her friends and family have died, the latest being her niece Sylvia. Sylvia died a horrible death....how she kept her sanity I will never know, she was very close to my mother and the way she died and her death has effected my mother terribly.

I hope that my mother is soon released from her misery. I do not wish my mother dead, I love my mother dearly, but it is awful seeing your mother in such a state and knowing that it will only get worse.

God bless us all the old, the sick and those that care for them, and the only pray is that for strength to carry on.

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There are Many Things You can do...
by: Anonymous

I am having same problem with my mother, who was placed in a nursing home against her will, and her house stolen from her...sure the money is in the bank, but her life was stolen from me and from her.

I was already knocking myself out to enrich my mother's life when the conservator tore our lives apart. It has been a year of mom being at the nursing home, and in spite of my efforts, and that of our lovely regular respite caregiver, Mom has dug in to her rage and misery...she has all the reason to. I am still finding the key to making her accepting and appreciative of all the things done for her...and there is on key, "dependency resentment," like a teenager gets when she has an independent desire, but not the means to be on her own. Parents get the beating.

But for your mother and for you, it does not seem you have tried the "just have fun" approach yet. One easy way to get out of your own ruts...and you are both in one...is to YouTube surf...View something like Little Rascals or Shirley Temple Clips, Busby Berkeley dances, I Love Lucy, Jackie Gleason...a favorite preacher like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa. Five versions of Moonlight Sonata...or .. American Bandstand. Andre Rieu, Classical Baby cartoons. so many riches, right there online. Do it together. It is a treasure hunt right there in your living room.

Good luck. This has been valuable diversion for Mom...but her rage at being put in the home is pretty volcanic and I am still searching for solutions.

Misery Loves Company!
by: Anonymous

I don't know, but it sounds to me like your mom and maybe even you have serious depressions??? I used to work in nursing homes and some of the people who were very elderly woke with a smile and enjoyed all the little things life had to offer. Then there were the ones who lived for misery.

They saw nothing good about anything or anyone and you knew exactly why they were placed in care. Their families could not tolerate the total misery these people oozed. Sometimes misery is a weird kind of happiness for these people who see everyone as out to do them dirty.

Perhaps mom could use some antidepressants? By this time, perhaps yourself could benefit? Talk it over with your doctor and take him/her a copy of what you've written here. Life is too short for this....get better, even if it means putting mom in care.

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