Now My Medical Appointments Begin????
I've been living with mom for almost two years, having moved back into her home to help her out.
Today, I'm going to the dermatologist for a weird rash that has appeared on my side and a bald spot in the middle of my otherwise healthy head of hair!
Of course, I looked everything up on the Internet and saw all kinds of images and diagnoses. Things that came up were skin cancer, shingles, and something called alopecia areata. I'm scared to death.
If the doctor tells me, in any way, shape, or form that either or both of these things are related to stress, I'm out of here. I will make other arrangements to be near mom, but not live with her.
I found this Boomers website soon after I moved in, and I read it every morning, and write in frequently. The very fact that I do that, should tell me I'm stressed. I follow all the advice of taking care of myself, eating healthy, exercising, getting time away when I can, but I don't think it's working. I think I'm just fooling myself.
I started chewing gum because I was clenching my jaws so tight all day I was starting to have issues with my teeth.
I think I'm just stuffing the feelings of tension, irritation, frustration, anger, resentment. I think I just keep trying to be the bigger person and learn and grow from everything, but I think my body and my spirit are telling me different. I think this is a wake-up call.
I could go on and on about all the different ways my mom irritates me, but you know what? That just makes me focus on mom even more! Today, this is about me.
I go in at 3pm. I'll let you know how it goes. And more important, I'll let you know what changes I'm going to make. Pray that I haven't waited too long.
P.S. Ha! My submission word is "FEEBLE" How apropo...