Now My Medical Appointments Begin????

I've been living with mom for almost two years, having moved back into her home to help her out.

Today, I'm going to the dermatologist for a weird rash that has appeared on my side and a bald spot in the middle of my otherwise healthy head of hair!

Of course, I looked everything up on the Internet and saw all kinds of images and diagnoses. Things that came up were skin cancer, shingles, and something called alopecia areata. I'm scared to death.

If the doctor tells me, in any way, shape, or form that either or both of these things are related to stress, I'm out of here. I will make other arrangements to be near mom, but not live with her.

I found this Boomers website soon after I moved in, and I read it every morning, and write in frequently. The very fact that I do that, should tell me I'm stressed. I follow all the advice of taking care of myself, eating healthy, exercising, getting time away when I can, but I don't think it's working. I think I'm just fooling myself.

I started chewing gum because I was clenching my jaws so tight all day I was starting to have issues with my teeth.

I think I'm just stuffing the feelings of tension, irritation, frustration, anger, resentment. I think I just keep trying to be the bigger person and learn and grow from everything, but I think my body and my spirit are telling me different. I think this is a wake-up call.

I could go on and on about all the different ways my mom irritates me, but you know what? That just makes me focus on mom even more! Today, this is about me.

I go in at 3pm. I'll let you know how it goes. And more important, I'll let you know what changes I'm going to make. Pray that I haven't waited too long.

P.S. Ha! My submission word is "FEEBLE" How apropo...

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It's All My Fault
by: Anonymous

I went to the doctor today for an ear infection I let linger too long. I called my husband on the way home from my appointment and told him that I let the doctor know I'm stressed over full time work, my health, our 5 kids, and his mother's treatment in hospice care.

My husbands response was "you don't need a doctor, you need a psychiatrist" I was crushed. I went to the doctor truly sick- ear draining, high fever, & lots of swollen lymph nodes.

Pretty sure a psychiatrist can fix that.

But because I got upset on the phone it became my fault for taking his comment the wrong way. I'm so down ~ I try to encourage my husband & sis in law...... But they both asked me to not talk about it.

Sad part is I love my mother in law~ she asks for me daily. Thanks to my husband & his sister I do not feel welcome to visit. Sorry to vent. I'm being emotionally abused & letting it break me down.

Thanks, Gloria
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your response, Gloria.

I think maybe I got a reprieve and a very good wake-up call. I could have let the skin rash go, but I couldn't ignore the bald spot on my head.

The doctor told me the bald spot was definitely stress-related and I believe the other stuff going on is symptoms of a suppressed immune system, also stress-related.

I went back through the years looking for when the stress in my life actually started and I had to go back 11 years. In the last 11 years, I went through 1 divorce, 2 separations, 2 deaths in my immediate family, and 5 moves. It's a wonder I have any hair at all.

I've made immediate changes. I have a rental property 20 miles from my mom's house. I've given the renters notice to move. On May 15th the place becomes mine. Every time I even think about it, I take a deep breath of relief. It has given me back my life, something to look forward to, something to have that's all mine. Even mom is excited about it.

I now thank God for the bald spot. If I have any qualms about anything, I just go to the mirror and look at it, and I know I'm doing the right thing. Life is too short to be that stressed about anything. I'm very fortunate to have the opportunity to make a change and save myself.

Nobody will ever believe this...but it's absolutely true. I get goose bumps telling you. My submission word this time is WAKEUP.

by: Gloria

We are all the same, a bit feeble, I am terrified that everything I have could be cancer, and like you on the Internet searching for answers.

I doubt very much that you have skin cancer it could be some form of eczema, and I`m sure the doctor will put your mind at rest.

It is stressful your situation and having been a carer myself for years you do put your own life on hold, since my dear mother died last November I haven`t felt that good.

I hope all goes well for you today, and try not to let your mother irritate you so much try and relax, I know talk is cheap.
All the best

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