Now it is the guilt trip from the angry mother

by William
(Mo)

Hi it me again with that anger mother issue. So I get a message from her telling me she needs some of my time. That my own family should realize when I am off work. That is my time to relax. I couldn’t respond to her message because it made me so mad. The truth in her message wasn’t about my family and time. It was about her. And putting me on a guilt trip. Well after what she did xmas. I couldn’t go see or do anything for her.

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Selfish mothers
by: Anonymous

Avoid responding to her. Don’t feed into her crap. Sounds like she is purposely trying to piss you for the want of drama.
It doesn’t even pay to explain that you have your own family to care for and work obligations, it’s all about her and what she demands. She may or may not wise up (probably not, but at least you will keep your sanity).

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Sorry
by: Anonymous

Hey William. I'm sorry. Have you looked at the traits of a Narcissist? Sounds like maybe your mom is that. My mom is. It's hard. I know. Been there, done that, Have a closet full of t-shirts, dress shirts, even sweat shirts, lol!!!!

With a narcissist everything is all about them, and nothing you do is good enough EVER. And you have no time for yourself ever because if you try to you're being selfish and mean.

If you try to reason with them NOTHING is their fault (even if it truly is). The best thing you can do with a narcissist is not argue (I know, easier said than done).

Take the time you need for yourself. I would recommend that you get a caregiver to come in and help your mom for at least a few hours a week to give you some relief. That's something else I figured out for myself - my mom didn't have other caregivers, only me, so she focused her rage and displeasure completely on me.

She's in an assisted living now (for the last two years, thankfully) so for now anyway her focus is not on me. She wants me to be her full-time caregiver again but I know that's really not a good idea for me (I did it for three years and it got ugly.) Hugs for you and prayers that you get some relief somehow. Hang in there. Caregiving is not an easy job, particularly when our elder person is difficult.

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It's not personal!
by: AnonymousDianne

Keep others you trust near and select family and friends who'll support you. Delegate responsibility.
The guilt is useless and opposition is going to pass as this journey is temporary and not personal...really!
Been there. May God hold you up!

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