Now it is the guilt trip from the angry mother

by William
(Mo)

Hi it me again with that anger mother issue. So I get a message from her telling me she needs some of my time. That my own family should realize when I am off work. That is my time to relax. I couldn’t respond to her message because it made me so mad. The truth in her message wasn’t about my family and time. It was about her. And putting me on a guilt trip. Well after what she did xmas. I couldn’t go see or do anything for her.

Comments for Now it is the guilt trip from the angry mother

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Selfish mothers
by: Anonymous

Avoid responding to her. Don’t feed into her crap. Sounds like she is purposely trying to piss you for the want of drama.
It doesn’t even pay to explain that you have your own family to care for and work obligations, it’s all about her and what she demands. She may or may not wise up (probably not, but at least you will keep your sanity).

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Sorry
by: Anonymous

Hey William. I'm sorry. Have you looked at the traits of a Narcissist? Sounds like maybe your mom is that. My mom is. It's hard. I know. Been there, done that, Have a closet full of t-shirts, dress shirts, even sweat shirts, lol!!!!

With a narcissist everything is all about them, and nothing you do is good enough EVER. And you have no time for yourself ever because if you try to you're being selfish and mean.

If you try to reason with them NOTHING is their fault (even if it truly is). The best thing you can do with a narcissist is not argue (I know, easier said than done).

Take the time you need for yourself. I would recommend that you get a caregiver to come in and help your mom for at least a few hours a week to give you some relief. That's something else I figured out for myself - my mom didn't have other caregivers, only me, so she focused her rage and displeasure completely on me.

She's in an assisted living now (for the last two years, thankfully) so for now anyway her focus is not on me. She wants me to be her full-time caregiver again but I know that's really not a good idea for me (I did it for three years and it got ugly.) Hugs for you and prayers that you get some relief somehow. Hang in there. Caregiving is not an easy job, particularly when our elder person is difficult.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
It's not personal!
by: AnonymousDianne

Keep others you trust near and select family and friends who'll support you. Delegate responsibility.
The guilt is useless and opposition is going to pass as this journey is temporary and not personal...really!
Been there. May God hold you up!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Removing myself from this toxic relationship

    Mar 30, 20 10:46 AM

    Good Day, I would like to share my story please, I am the second youngest of 6 siblings. Three of my much older siblings have completely removed themselves

    Read More

  2. Mother In Law moved in at 96 years Old

    Mar 30, 20 10:45 AM

    My Mother In Law had to move in with us. She is 96, Blind, Spanish Speaking, (I am not), and has some dementia and memory problems. I feel guilty for

    Read More

  3. Ricky

    Mar 30, 20 10:44 AM

    I am the oldest of 3 siblings followed by 2 sisters. In 2012, I was facing a financial crisis and decided to move into my mother's home since she was a

    Read More