Not Where I Need to Be

by Ms. Doolittle

I would like to visit with my Mom who is in a care facility now to handle her Alzheimer's. Due to poor finances, I am no longer able to visit as frequently as I would really like to.

Logistics has a lot to do with my problems of not visiting often enough as it is quite a trip. My issues these days are the guilty feelings that I have over not seeing this person like I used to be able to do.

I am on a very small income now due to a recent job loss and am looking ever since for a comparable position but have had no luck. What little money I do have goes for rent, utilities, food, and gas money.

I feel like my family back home feels like I have abandoned my parent but that is not the case as with no money how am I to get there and back?

The last visit I had I spent too much between gas and take out food for us that i have gotten behind in some of my bills.

I wish there was some sage advice on how I can help from where I am or deal with these guilty feelings.

I love my Mom and miss seeing her even if she doesn't know who I am anymore. I know who she is and that's all that really matters. Any suggestions on how a person to better cope with this situation. I can't be the only person in this predicament.

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You feel?
by: Leasa

What caught my eye in your letter is when you said 'I feel my family back home...' Often what helps to build our guilt and keep us from doing what we need to be doing is undeserved guilt from imagined feelings.

You can articulate your feelings and situation very well with the written word, so I would suggest you send letters back home telling your family members exactly what you've told us and ask them for suggestions.

Next time you go to see Mom, pack some lunches instead of buying take out, and think about public transit.

Even if your family can't help with transportation for you to visit Mom, at least you will KNOW that they know how it is for you and you can erase that guilt you have over what they are thinking.

Communication is key work on that and some problems will solve themselves. Good luck going forward!!!

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