Not Resentful, just Stressed Out!

by Susan
(New Mexico)

My father is 83 (to be 84 in February) and my husband and I decided it would be better if he moved closer to us so we could look after him.

There have been several surgeries and a long recuperation that have left him pretty unstable. Cataract surgery went okay however he is not seeing as well as we think he should so the subject of taking the keys to car has come up from time to time. As you can guess he is very resentful when we bring this up and I really do not know what it will take for him to understand....a wreck? running over someone in the parking lot of the store? I am frazzled to say the least. Does anyone have any thoughts as how to make sense of this to him?

Also, we are considering home care as we both work (thank goodness) and really are stretched for time between work and our own home. Getting home at 6PM only to go over and make supper and straighten up AND THEN arriving at our home to do the same thing. My husband has been a really great help, but we both can see the stress and strain on each other as this has been a 7 day a week process with no vacations or time off for the last 3 years.

Our intent is to make this a comfortable situation for him and our family but it is very stressful from time to time....PLUS my husbands mother is going to need the same thing very soon I fear....