Nobody asked Me if She could Live with Us.

by J
(Pa.)

Everyone just assumed that I would take on the job of caregiver to my 81 year old mother-in-law.

I feel like some of us are just not meant to be caregivers. I've heard people talking about their experiences. They use words like: fulfilling, rewarding, and satisfying.

I use words like: restrictive, intrusive, manipulating, lazy, coercive, dirty, disgusting....
I could go on and on.

I feel like I've lost my whole life, including my home and privacy. I hear the same story or complaint 500 times a day. If she doesn't tell me personally; I hear it while she's relating it to visitors or people on the phone.

She is totally uninterested in anything that isn't related to her health or comfort. A conversation about anything else isn't worth having.

I can hardly stand to look at her. Her medications are tremendous and she keeps wanting more. The latest is better pain meds. She claims she hasn't had a good night's sleep in two weeks. Please, the woman sleeps all day and then moans about being unable to sleep at night. I mentioned to her that gentle exercise could help to alleviate some of her pain. Big mistake. If I say anything that she doesn't like, she "tells" on me to family members.

I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for her to die so I can have a life again.