No Intimacy any More, no Life

by PT
(France)

Hello

My mother is 88 years old, I am 54 and my daughter is 27! We live together, my daughter and I have our own bedroom, but mother sleeps in the living room. I dear not have any friends come around cause I am ashamed.

When my elder sister comes and visit my 88 year old mother acts younger, but then me and my daughter get the moaning and groaning!!! It is not fair!

Not only that but my mother is obsessed with my daughter and treats her like a child, always wanting to meddle with our lives. Me and my daughter cannot take it any more.

I have tried to talk to my sister about what we are going through but she does not seem to understand OR wants to understand. When I say something about mother she says, "you have been living with her for so long you cannot let her down now". Or she says she is 88, it is her age doing all this!

I want to put my mother in a caring home where she would be better. I don't like my mother any more as some times she is so aggressive towards me in words. I think she has the start of dementia or Alzheimer's. But she does not want to go to the doctor.

I want a life....I am 54! I cannot take any more abuse....What can I do ???
This is only part of the story....there are so many other things I could write. There is soo much I need to say.....
Anyway, thank you for reading this and maybe some of you can give advice ! Thank you !!

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When Does it End
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. My siblings and I put my father in a nursing home a few months ago. That has allowed us to sleep at night but not much more.

We visit every day and that is not enough. He has dementia and Parkinson's and the medicines he takes makes him hallucinate which only ads to the negative attitude he seems to have. The only time he is happy is when his wife is around and that is not often because she feels like my father is the nursing home's problem not her problem.

All the adult children are exhausted trying to keep this man content (not happy just content) which he never is. He sobs and screams and the nursing home is on the verge of kicking him out....and beyond all that the cost is draining all the family. SO we are physically emotionally and financially drained.

I don't know that there is a solution. I do know that I would never do this to my family. I would never put my family through what my parents are putting their adult children though.

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